


Summertime Promises

by cornerstoned21



Category: Alex Turner - Fandom, Last Shadow Puppets, Miles Kane - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, last shadow puppets era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-15 12:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2228841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cornerstoned21/pseuds/cornerstoned21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summertime made promises it knew it couldn't keep.</p>
<p>Follows the relationship between Alex and Miles as they release the Age of the Understatement and tour to promote the album.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

They’d done it, they’d finally done it. The album was done; the side project they’d been talking about for years but never had the time to finish.

They’d gone out the night before its release to celebrate, but the night quickly went downhill for Miles. Alex went to pick up the first round of drinks at the bar, but got distracted talking to some bird while he was waiting for his order. The conversation still ebbed and flowed around Miles, but everything seemed a little less dim with Alex’s attention clearly elsewhere. Alex was always the light of the room, flirting and charming men and women alike. Miles realized with a start that their time together in recording the album had made him take for granted the fact that Alex’s attention would be focused solely on him. With Alex’s attention wandering tonight for the first time, he found himself disappointed. It was a disconcerting realization.

Miles tried to keep his concentration on the conversation around him, but his attention kept wandering over to Alex over at the bar. For a while he was distracted by the outlandish story Owen was telling, but when he glanced over at the bar once more to see what was keeping Alex he was just in time to see the girl lean over and whisper something in his friends ear. Alex grinned and offered her his hand, leading her off into the dim recesses of the pub; drinks forgotten on the counter behind him.

When Alex disappeared with the girl in tow Miles staggered abruptly to his feet, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“Alright, mate?” Ford asked, looking at the younger man with concern. Miles was paler than usual, even in the dim lighting of the pub.

“Just need a smoke,” Miles lied, grabbing his jacket from the chair and practically bolting out the door. Once outside he didn’t stop walking though, instead continuing on his way down the street. Mindful of the cold sleet that was coming down he pulled his collar up higher around his neck and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

It was silly; he half expected Alex to come running out after him, but the street behind remained empty and quiet. To be honest Miles wasn’t sure what he would do if Alex turned up just then, lost as he was in his own head.

By the time he reached his flat he was chilled to the bone. He unlocked the door with shaking hands and was thankful when he felt a blast of warm air greet him.

Throwing his keys on the table he fished his mobile out of his pocket, giving it a cursory glance to see that he had one missed text. Absently he opened it to see that it was from Alex.

Alex: Kane, where did you disappear to? Ford said you took off for a fag over an hour ago!

Miles looked at the clock and realized with a start that he’d left the pub almost two hours ago. He didn’t want the gang to worry about him, so he reluctantly fired a text back to his friend.

Miles: Felt a bit sick so I ducked out early. See you in the morning for the interview. Don’t be late, ya?

Alex: Wouldn’t dream of it, love.

Miles grinned at the casual term of affection, but his smile faltered when he read the next text.  
Alex: Shame you didn’t stay, mate. She had a friend ;)

Miles threw his phone across the room with an oath. His mobile buzzed once more with another incoming text but he ignored it, sinking to the floor with only the wall left to support him.

He knew his jealousy was irrational and probably unhealthy, but right now it was the only thing that seemed real to him.  
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there with his head in his hands, thoughts racing through his head. He still felt disgustingly sober, despite the drinks he had had with Alex before they went to the pub.

Abruptly lurching to his feet, Miles quickly made his way over to the cupboard where a bottle of whiskey waited; unopened. He cracked the seal and went to take a drag before a thought struck him. The interview tomorrow. It was a given that Alex would turn up hungover or still pissed out of his mind, so Miles was used to taking the spotlight off of him. If he and Alex both showed up hungover the interview was likely to be a disaster from start to finish.

Undecided, he wavered for a minute until he heard his mobile buzz from the next room. Doubtless Alex was bragging some more about his latest conquest. The idea of hearing the sordid details, which Alex was doubtless itching to share, caused Miles to shudder. A bitter feeling coursed through his veins.

That sealed the deal.

He upended the bottle, determined to drown out the confusing thoughts swirling around his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This is a repost of a story I wrote, oh about a year ago I believe. I've decided to repost it on this site after taking it down everywhere else. For those of you who've read it before I should probably warn you in advance that I'm rewriting the entire end of the fic (mostly because I hated it but also partly because I didn't save the last few chapters). Any feedback/comments is greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter Two

Miles cracked one eye open and tried to make sense of his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was downing that bottle of whiskey and ignoring the sound of his mobile buzzing in the next room. He could feel the hardwood floor digging uncomfortably into his back.

He levered himself into a seated position feeling his head swim alarmingly at the movement. The light was streaming in through the unshuttered windows, causing him to wince even more.

Digging in to his pocket he searched for his phone but scowled when he came up empty handed. Staggering to his feet he checked the table by the door but it wasn't there either. He glanced around, bewildered, before spotting it lying on the floor in the living room.

Miles shuffled over and picked it up gingerly, careful to keep his movements slow. He thought absently to himself that he needed to grab some paracetamol and water before the interview, but all rational thoughts were wiped out of head when he saw Alex's text still open on the phone.

Alex had texted him five more times, but before Miles could decide whether he even wanted to read what his mate had to say, he caught sight of the time.

“Bloody hell!” he swore. He needed to be at the studio in a half an hour and it would take him at least that long to get there, barring traffic. He stumbled into his bedroom he grabbed the first items of clothing that he could find, forgoing his usual sharp style in favor of anything clean and unwrinkled.

Turning on the tap in the bathroom he gathered water in his cupped hands to splash on his face. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror he grimaced. He was paler then usual, eyes red rimmed and dull. His brown hair was getting too long in the back and was starting to curl forwards. He needed to get a haircut, he noted absently, but there wasn't much he could do about that now so he gathered his guitar and coat and quickly exited his flat.

The walk to the studio helped to put some color in Miles's cheeks, but he arrived more than twenty minutes late. He was surprised to see Alex sitting on the couch already, chatting idly with the interviewer. Alex was all charms and smiles but Miles could tell the other boy had a raging hangover. This time he couldn't really complain, being in the same boat.

Alex's grin faltered slightly when Miles walked in, and he shot Miles a concerned look. Miles shook him off wordlessly, and greeted the interviewer with a feigned smile. His manager was standing in the corner looking pissed that Miles was late. Setting his guitar down in the corner, he shot his manager an apologetic look and took off his coat to join Alex on the couch.

He made sure to leave plenty of room between him and his band mate, but Alex, oblivious, leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“Y'all right, mate? You look a bit peaky. Still sick then?”

Alex pulled back a little and made a move as if to feel Miles's forehead, but Miles batted the hand away with a pointed glance at the interviewer. He could feel her intense gaze on the two of them, desperate for any hint of a scandal she could dredge up. Miles and Alex had always acted too familiar in the press, though they had both shrugged off the warnings from various friends and managers on the subject.

Alex dropped his hand and turned his attention back to the interviewer, but didn't move further away from Miles. Miles realized he could feel the heat Alex was throwing off from where their arms were pressed together on the small couch. He wanted to move further away but didn't want to draw anyone's attention to how close they were sitting in the first place so he stayed still.

The interviewer was polite, though somewhat distant. The interview itself was boring for the most part, following the standard pattern. More attention was always paid to Alex as the “more famous” of the two. Alex seemed content to handle the brunt of the interview for once, for which Miles was grateful. Miles didn't seem to be able to keep his attention from wandering back to his friend today, nor his gaze.

Alex didn't seem to realize the frequency that Miles looked at him, nor did the interviewer, entranced as she was with Alex. Miles was thankful for that, because he didn't seem to be able to stop. He knew the looks were getting out of hand, but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from the older lad.

It wasn't until there was a ringing silence in the room that Miles realized that something had happened. The interviewer had a slight blush on her cheeks but she was staring determinedly at Alex, as if challenging him with her stare. Alex wasn't glaring back, but Miles could tell he was angry.

“I don't think that our band is just a distraction from the Monkeys,” Alex drawled finally, cluing Miles into what the question must have been about. Alex always got defensive when he felt that their current project was being questioned for any reason.

The woman made a skeptical noise but dropped the train of thought, turning her attention onto Miles now that he had made it clear he was paying attention once more.

“Thanks to your project with Alex you seem to have become a household name overnight, Miles Kane,” she said slyly. “How does it feel now that you've become an instant celebrity?”

Miles could feel Alex bristle next to him, and though he himself was slightly offended, he hastened to minimize the damage.

“I've been around the scene for a few years, none of this is new to me,” he said dismissively. “My band has toured with Alex's before, that's how we became friends in the first place.”

“True, but The Rascals never had quite the same level of success as Arctic Monkeys,” the interviewer jabbed, sharp and quick.

“I'm not aligning myself with Alex to get famous, if that's what you're trying to imply,” Miles snapped before he could help himself. Well done, Kane, he thought to himself. There's a quote that's sure to be taken out of context.

The woman grinned a feral smile, indicating that Miles was probably right. Miles cursed himself wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. Normally he handled those kinds of questions better, but today everything seemed to get under his skin.

The acoustic set was a disaster. Miles played mechanically, nearly missing some of his ques. To an outside observer they would have sounded fine, but Alex would know something was up and was sure to call him on it later.

Sure enough Alex confronted Miles as soon as the two were once more alone in the recording room.

“Don't think I didn't hear you miss that riff in the second song, Kane. What's going on?” Alex demanded, blocking the door before Miles could pass through.

Miles shoved gently at Alex's immobile arms. “Piss off mate, I'm just feeling hungover. That's all.”

Alex stayed where he was, concern fading into confusion. “Why would you be hungover, you barely had anything to drink last night!” he protested.

“Leave it alone, Turner,” Miles warned, starting to get angry himself. He tried to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down, but when he finally caught sight of the love bite peaking through Alex's shirt all the hurt and jealousy morphed into pure anger. Reaching out he shoved his way past Alex.

“Fuck off. I'm out,” he spat in disgust, taking advantage of Alex's surprise to put some distance between them. Alex stumbled into the doorway but recovered quickly, tailing Miles back to the entry way where Miles was collecting his stuff to leave.

He could feel eyes on the back of his head, but he resolutely ignored Alex as he wrapped his coat around himself and grabbed his guitar.

He walked out of the studio without a word, ignoring Alex calling out to him as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't think of chapter summaries, sorry loves. If anyone wants to help with them just let me know. Otherwise they are going to be left blank.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's POV.

Alex watched Miles leave the studio in shock. What had gotten in to his friend?

As he stood there musing over what could possibly be bothering Miles, the interviewer saw her chance to corner him.

“Trouble in paradise?” she inquired pasting a fake sympathetic smile on her face. Alex hoped she hadn't picked up on the tension between the two lads but judging from the smug look on her face she had and was planning to take full advantage of it in her article. Alex glared at her, feeling no compunction to be friendly now that the interview was over.

“He's feeling a bit off, s'all,” he muttered, quickly gathering his stuff together to make a quick escape. He wanted to run after Miles and demand an answer, but he got stopped once more by his manager on the way out the door.

By the time he finally made it out of the studio he knew Miles would be long gone. At this point he figured it would be better to leave the other boy some time to cool off. It left him with something of a gap in his day though; he had originally planned on spending the rest of the day with Miles, relaxing. They were going on tour in less than a week and there were still so many details to iron out, but they had mutually decided on a day off.

Scuffing his shoes on the sidewalk he considered his options. He could call up Miles but that had the potential to make the situation even worse, even if it was unintentional. He could go home and work on some more tracks for the album, but he wasn't feeling in the mood for that either. Lately he found it harder to come up with stuff on his own; collaborating with Miles had become as easy as breathing to him. Without Miles there the words just didn't seem to want to come.

Checking his watch he discovered that it was past five. “Ah, perfect then,” he thought to himself. Helders was sure to be around, maybe they could go grab a pint.

Helders, sure enough, picked up on the first ring.

“Pub?” Alex queried, not wasting any time.

Matt sighed. “I had plans, you wanker,” he replied, but Alex knew he'd already won.

“Ah come on. Surely you can dust your flat some other time. I'm about to head out on tour in a week, don't you want to see my pretty face once more before I leave?” he wheedled.

“I see you nearly every day, you dolt. But yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Where we meeting?”

“Pub down the corner from the studio? Just wrapped up an interview with Miles, could use a drink,” Alex suggested, already turning his feet in that direction.

“That bad?” Matt asked, knowing full well Alex's tolerance for stupid questions.

“Nah, the interview was fine, but Miles was in a right state for some reason. Wouldn't tell me what was wrong though. Left without a word.”

Mat was silent for a moment, then coughed. “I'm sure its nothing. Probably just the stress of the interviews or something. Look, I gotta go but I'll meet you at the pub in twenty. First round's on you.”

“Cheap bastard,” Alex said with a grin, hanging up. He knew he could count on Matt to be there when he needed him.

~~

The pub was fairly empty by the time Alex stumbled in. The temperature had dropped in the last few hours, making him wish that he had thought to bring a warmer jacket with him. Miles would have brought a thick jacket, he thought absently to himself. Miles was always the sensible one in their friendship.

Alex found himself still puzzled by Miles's behavior back at the studio. Miles was always cheerful, always ready with a smile and a laugh, but not today. Today he had seemed out of it. He'd bailed fairly early on the night before, and he hadn't responded to Alex's texts the rest of the night either.

Did I do something to piss him off? Alex wondered to himself. He had a habit of running his mouth when he was drunk, and they had all gone out for drinks the night before, so it was a possibility. He wracked his head trying to think of any passing comments he had made to Miles that might have pissed him off, but couldn't think of anything. Miles had bailed fairly early on in the night, before Alex had had too much to drink, he realized with surprise. It wasn't like Miles to leave that early. Most nights he stayed out at least as long as Alex, if not longer.

Alex's solitary musings were eventually interrupted by a heavy hand on his shoulder.

“Alex, you didn't have to wait for me!” Matt said with a grin, clad in track suit bottoms and a t-shirt. Alex looked at the empty bar in front of him, surprised.

“As if I was waiting for your Majesty,” he joked, signaling with one hand to get the bartender to take their order. “I just got here, that's all.”

Matt looked like he wanted to say something, but then changed his mind. Throwing himself down on the stool next to Alex, he slung his arm around his friends shoulder.

“Alright then. What's got you down?” he inquired. Without even realizing it Alex relaxed his shoulders for the first time since he'd seen Miles storm into the studio that morning.

“Miles,” he said simply, taking a long pull from the beer that the bartender had slid into his waiting hand.

Matt nodded for Alex to continue, taking a drink from his own beer as he listened. At first Alex just stuck to the bare facts; what had happened the night before and what had happened today at the interview. The more he thought about how Miles had basically blown him off when something was clearly wrong though, the angrier he got.

“What's his problem? If there's something wrong he should tell me. We leave for our US tour in less then a week for fucks suck! I don't want to fight with him now. We've never really gotten in a fight before,” he said, realizing it was true even as he was saying it. He and Miles might have been living in each others pockets lately but they barely ever disagreed over anything, much less had a fight like this. He slammed his mug down on the bar to make a point, but he did it a little harder then he had meant to and felt chagrined when it spilled over the edges. He distracted himself for a bit by tracing patterns in the spilled liquid.

It felt good to get everything off his chest, but he still felt like he was missing something. The smug little grin on Helders face made him even more sure there was something obvious he was missing.

Matt was silent for a minute after Alex finished his tirade. “I think you're blowing this all out of proportion, mate,” he stated firmly. “Talk to Miles. I'm sure he was just distracted by something. Maybe he didn't feel like talking about it. He's a pretty private person. Unlike you he knows what a boundary is.”

Alex glared sullenly at Matt over his drink. “Whatever” he said. “I need a piss.”

He got up and was surprised to find himself wobbling slightly on his feet. He hadn't had that much to drink yet, but he probably drank too fast because he wasn't paying attention.

When he got back to the table Matt was just getting off his mobile.

“Got a date, Helders?” he sneered. Matt looked startled to see Alex.

“Ah, no. I was just seeing what the rest of the gang was up to. They're all at the Battleship,” Matt said, naming one of their regular haunts. “You game to head over there? This place is pretty dull anyways.”

Alex considered it for a minute. It would be nice to see the rest of The Convicts before he left for tour. “Is Miles with them?” he asked, suspiciously. Matt pasted an innocent look on his face.

“Why would Miles be there?” he asked. Alex just shook his head with a wry grin.

“Never mind. Let's go. But so help me, Helders, you better not be meddling. We can resolve this on our own.”

Matt just grinned good naturedly. “Onwards!” he said with a cheer, grabbing Alex by the arm and propelling him out of the bar and into the cold London streets.

~~

The Battleship was considerably more crowded then the nondescript pub they had just left, but the Monkeys had managed to corner one of the prime tables near the bar and had taken up residence. Nick seemed to be relating what he thought was a hilarious story while Cook was dancing to his own music. Owen and Ford were there to round out their motley little crew and seemed to be listening to Nick's story to some degree. Alex surreptitiously looked around as he and Matt made their way over to the table but Miles was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't decide whether he was happy about that or not.

“Alex, you dirty lad,” Ford greeted him, doubtless remembering Alex's escapades the night before. Alex blushed unwittingly. He didn't remember exactly what had happened the night before. Everything went a bit vague after he had hooked up with that chick at the bar. He remembered being disappointed when he realized that Miles had ditched early, but that was about as much as he could recall.

“Lads,” he greeted. “First round of shots is on me!” The rest of the boys cheered but Matt didn't seem to be paying attention.

“Oi, Helders. You joining us?” Alex taunted him, bringing his attention back to the present moment.

“Who said I left?” Matt said, grabbing a hold of Cook's drink and downing it despite his protests. Alex grinned approvingly. He headed over to bar to grab the shots, shouting that'd he'd be right back.

A dozen shots later and Alex was feeling properly smashed. The group collectively called out a greeting as it was joined by another person and it took Alex longer than it should have to realize that Miles had shown up after all.

Miles smiled wanly at Alex when he realized Alex had seen him but Alex forced himself not to smile back. Downing one last shot he got to his feet and lurched over to where Miles was standing on the other side of the table.

Standing in front of Miles he could see that the boy was a wreck; he looked worse then he had appeared at the interview earlier. It wasn't anything physical, he just looked worn down. Exhausted. It hurt Alex to see his friend in such a state without knowing what was going on.

“We need to talk,” he said abruptly, mentally trying to stop the world from spinning, or at least to stop it from bucking him off his feet.

Miles simply nodded, and gestured towards the door.

“Can I bum a fag?” he questioned. Alex nodded and followed Miles as he navigated the crowded room.

The cold winter air was a welcome respite from the stale air in the bar. Despite the smoking ban there still seemed to be a layer of smoke that was permanently ingrained in the furniture.

Alex lit a fag and took a long drag before passing it to Miles. The two passed it back and forth in silence for a few minutes, both content to let the moment wait.

It was Miles who broke the silence first.

“Sorry about earlier,” he said, scuffing his foot absently in the dirt.

Alex didn't want to push his friend, but he couldn't leave it at that. He needed to know what had set Miles off. “Was it something I did?” he asked, hesitantly. “I hardly remember what happened myself, but if there's anything I need to apologize for...” he trailed off.

Miles instantly denied it, to Alex's relief. “No, no, it was nothing you did. I just, wasn't having a good day, and I took it out on you,” he explained. Alex studied him silently until Miles squirmed under his scrutiny. “Look, I don't really want to talk about it,” he admitted.

Alex frowned. Why wouldn't Miles tell him what was going on? he wondered uneasily. They shared everything with each other, regardless of whether or not it was actually proper. And yet, something was clearly bothering Miles and he wouldn't tell Alex what was wrong.

Before Alex could continue his line of questioning however, the door to the bar flew open. A large crowd of people spilled out, with two people locked in an intense fight packed in the middle.

Catching sight of the fight Alex grinned at the example of male bravado on display, while Miles sighed. They made as if to go back into the peaceful confines of the bar when Miles saw who was in the middle of the crowd.

“Alex, it's Jamie!” he said, tugging on Alex's shirt sleeve. Sure enough Jamie was in the thick of the battle, furiously swinging away at someone twice his size. Alex and Miles watched in amusement as the larger man effortlessly kept out of Jamie's way. He seemed to be enjoying Jamie's attempts at a fight, until Jamie landed one on his nose. Then he started fighting back in earnest, landing blow after blow.

“For fuck's sake, isn't anyone going to break this up? That brute is twice Cookie's size!” Alex griped. He looked over at Miles to see if he agreed, but Miles was no where to be seen.

All of a sudden a cheer rang out from the spectators as another body joined the fray. The new attacker landed a solid punch to Jamie's opponent, causing him to reel back in surprise. The new figure then grabbed Jamie's arm and forcibly pulled him out of the fight, the two taking off at a run down a side street.

Alex followed the disappearing figures, glancing back to see Matt hot on his heels.

Alex ran for a about a block before he caught up to Jamie and his savior. He was surprised to see Miles standing next to Jamie, both lads laughing and trying to catch their breath. Jamie looked surprisingly no worse for the wear considering Alex knew for a fact the other man had landed a few of his punches. Miles was laughing just as hard as Jamie but he had his right hand cradled almost protectively against his chest.

“Oi! Kane! Where do you get off pulling a stunt like that?” Alex demanded. Miles stopped laughing when he heard the shout. Jamie seemed to sober up as well when he saw Alex's face.

“Oh come off it Alex, your boy is fine. Just a little bruised that's all,” he spoke up consolingly, but Alex was having none of it.

“Let me see,” Alex demanded, stepping closer to Miles. Miles grimaced and held out his hand for Alex to see. His knuckles were split, bruised and raw. Matt, finally caught up with the trio, leaned over Alex's shoulder to get a better look. When he saw how bruised Miles's hand was he grimaced.

“That's going to hurt in the morning,” he said, a hint of admiration in his tone. “What in the world got into you Miles? Its not like you to join in a barroom brawl. Besides, this one here totally deserved whatever he got.”

“Hey!” Jamie piped up indignantly.

“I don't know,” Miles admitted. When it became clear that no further answer was forthcoming Alex sighed and took a look around to see where they were.

“If you're done being a knight in shining armor then let's get that hand wrapped up,” he said to Miles. Saying goodbye to Jamie and Matt they caught a cab and made their way back to Alex's flat since it was closer.


	4. Chapter Four

The ride back to Alex's flat was awkward. Both boys were silent, sticking firmly to their side of the cab. Miles lost himself in the passing lights as they blurred together. He tried to ignore the ache of his knuckles, but all could focus on was the concern on Alex's face when he saw the damage. It was impulsive and bloody stupid to have punched that bloke but he'd acted completely without thinking. He probably wouldn't be able to explain what had come over him. He'd just felt this rush of adrenaline and he was off. Maybe that was what Alex felt when he got into all those bar fights.

The last time they'd gone out it had been Alex who had mucked things up, though he didn't even know it. Alex wasn't always content to stick to fags and drinks on a night out, and his mates would often find him making shady deals with even shadier characters when they weren't paying attention. Alex had cleaned his act up in the last few months though. They no longer had to worry about finding Alex passed out in the loo or higher than a kite with god knows what drugs in his system. The drunken shags were fewer too, as were the inevitable drunken fights following them. Alex was a sloppy drunk, and boundaries that were nearly nonexistent when sober were obliterated when inebriated.

Miles suddenly realized that Alex was being strangely strangely quiet. Sneaking a glance at him on the other side of the seat he saw that Alex was fiddling with his phone with a frown; something Miles had long ago learned was a nervous habit. Miles really hoped that Alex wasn't going to push the issue tonight. He'd had a rough day and the thought of having to explain himself made his stomach twist with nerves.

Miles wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline crash or the drinks from earlier finally hitting him but by the time they pulled up in front of Alex's place he was starting to feel nauseous. He stumbled out of the cab, saved from an inelegant face plant only thanks to Alex's steady arm.

“Hold still for a sec,” he said, digging for his wallet in order to pay the cabbie. Miles ignored the instructions and wandered unsteadily over to the steps to Alex's flat. It didn't take long for Alex to pay the cabbie and make his way over to the door.

Miles followed Alex inside the flat, keeping close to his friends heels. He'd been at the flat just a few days ago but it seemed like a whirlwind had swept through since the last time he'd seen the place.

Alex seemed to guess what Miles was thinking, because he looked bashful. “I always have a hard time packing for tour,” he explained, gesturing to the clothes spread out on nearly every available surface. Miles had to scoff.

“You wear the same outfit every day, or some variation of it anyways.”

“Sod off. We can't all wear three piece suits every day like you can, Kane,” Alex said, turning red. Miles couldn't help but find it adorable when Alex was insecure like that.

“Come on, let's get that hand wrapped up,” Alex said, changing the subject. “I don't know what you were thinking. What would we have done if you had broken something? O'Malley is a big boy, he can fight his own battles.”

Following Alex into the small kitchen, which was somewhat cleaner, Miles took a seat at the bar. While Alex rummaged around in the freezer for something cold to put on his hand, Miles looked down and traced the edges of a burn from that one time when Alex had fallen asleep mid smoke. The raised edges of the burn were rough on his finger, but tracing the edges of it soothed some of his anxiety. Alex had certainly done some stupid shit in his own time, Miles didn't need to feel ashamed for doing the same.

Finally pulling a bag of frozen peas from the fridge, Alex tossed the bag over to Miles before turning to rummage in another drawer.

“What are you looking for?” Miles wondered, covering his bruised hand with the improvised ice pack. The cold immediately soothed his raw hand and helped him finally relax completely.

“First aid kit. I think I've got some salve in there too that we can put on your knuckles,” Alex replied absently. “Aha! Found it!” he cried, yanking a small and slightly battered box out of the drawer.

“Is there even anything in there?” Miles asked skeptically. Alex looked offended at his doubtful tone.

“Of course there is! I am prepared for all sorts of things!” Opening the first aid kit with a flourish he began pulling things out one by one while keeping a running commentary.

“Cuts? I got plasters! Dread getting a scar, never fear. Neosporin. Need a, uh, homemade ice lollie? I've got just the stick for you!” Miles couldn't help but snigger when Alex pulled out the tongue depressor and looked confused for a second before bumbling on. “Ah hah! Here we go. Bandages!” he said triumphantly, placing the them carefully on the bar and throwing everything else back into the kit. “How are the knuckles?”

Miles took the ice pack off his hand and considered how it felt. “Comfortably numb,” he declared with a grin. Alex grinned back as he took the stool next to Miles and reached out for Miles's hand. Miles's first instinct was to pull back, not wanting to let Alex do something as intimate as hold his hand, until he realized what Alex was trying to do. Fighting to keep the blush off his face and give himself away, he held out his hand and met Alex halfway.

Alex's hand was pleasantly warm, but that might have been because Miles had been holding something cold on his hand for the last few minutes.

“It doesn't look that bad. Still, don't want to take any chances,” Alex said thoughtfully. He gently began to wrap Miles's hand in the bandages, concentrating intensely as he did so. Miles had to force himself to look away. If Alex caught him staring he wasn't sure what he would do tonight. He had just enough alcohol in him to think that maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if the lines started to blur.

“Oi! Earth to Miles!” Alex shouted, causing Miles's eyes to fly open. He wasn't aware that he had even shut them in the first place, nor was he sure exactly how much time had passed. Alex was grinning good naturedly at him but the only thing Miles could focus on was his hand; successfully bandaged but still grasped by Alex.

Miles looked straight at Alex for a long moment. Alex's grin faltered slightly, but he met Miles's gaze straight on. Miles wished for the first time that his friend wasn't so good at hiding his real emotions. Alex's expression was disarmingly open but there was something in his gaze that Miles couldn’t quite read.

The moment drew on longer then was perhaps appropriate, and Miles found himself leaning incrementally closer to where his friend was perched on the next stool.

The sudden sound of Alex's mobile ringing broke the sudden tension. Alex muttered an apology to Miles, getting up to answer the phone in the other room.

Miles felt disappoint crash down around him. For a second, just a split second before the phone rang, he could have sworn Alex was leaning towards him as well.

Scrubbing his hand over his face tiredly, Miles tried to remind himself that nothing was ever going to happen with Alex. Starting something with his best mate before they headed out on tour was a horrible idea. A fantastically horrible idea.

Alex came back in the room, apologizing once more, and interupted Miles's thoughts.

“Fancy a drink?” he offered. Miles considered leaving for a minute, but then realized he was too out of it to head home that night.

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. While Alex got the drinks he settled down in the living room, flipping on the TV and scanning through to find something for background noise. When Submarine came on he left it. He'd always loved hearing Alex's solo stuff, and had been thrilled when his mate had branched out to do the soundtrack to the movie.

Alex rolled his eyes when he saw what Miles had put on, but didn't change the channel. They spend the rest of the night drinking and enjoying each other's company, falling into place just as easily as they had in the past with all awkwardness from before forgotten.

Miles passed out sometime around two but awoke abruptly a few hours later. Swimming back into wakefulness he was disconcerted at first to discover a heavy weight that was pressing into him until he realized it was just Alex, slumped boneless against his side. Propped up by the corner of the couch Miles felt fairly comfortable, but his friend was going to have a crick in his neck the next day. Miles wondered why Alex hadn't gone back to his room to pass out. It wouldn't have been the first time that Miles had spent the night alone on Alex's couch.

A faint buzzing sound caught Miles's attention. He realized that Alex's mobile was vibrating in his pocket; the very pocket that was pressed up against Mile's side. Being ticklish he carefully but quickly drew the phone out of Alex's pocket to stop the unwelcome sensation.

He didn't mean to snoop but the phone was already in his hand and he couldn't help glancing at the screen.

It was Alexa; Alex's on again, off again girlfriend. Miles felt his throat close up as he read the message on the screen.

“Night babe. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I”ll be sure to wear that dress you love ;) xx.”

Miles shoved the mobile back in Alex's pocket and quickly extracted himself from their entangled position. What had he been thinking earlier? There was no way Alex had been about to put a move on him. Alex might be bisexual, but he clearly was back together with Alexa if that text message was anything to go by. Miles was just fooling himself if he though Alex would choose him over Alexa. Alexa was everything Miles wasn't. She was beautiful, a stunningly talented model, and one of Alex's oldest friends.

Miles quickly gathered his stuff together. He hesitated at the door, not wanting to leave without a word but not wanting to talk to Alex right now either.

Spotting a piece of paper on the table he quickly found a pen and scrawled a brief message on it.

He crept out of the flat just as the sky was beginning to lighten.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's POV.

It was late morning when Alex awoke. He could tell from the light escaping through the blinds that he had slept later then he had meant to, and he wondered why Miles hadn't woken him up. It took him a minute to realize that Miles was, in fact, no where to be found. 

He stretched lazily, for the moment unconcerned. Miles was probably just in the other room, he thought to himself. Looking around at the clothes and debris scattered everywhere, Alex thought to himself that perhaps he ought to spend the rest of the day packing. They were due to leave for the US in a couple of days and he had yet to even begin. Lately most of his spare time was spent doing interviews to promote the new album and working on set lists for the tour with Miles.

Getting up to use the loo, Alex stretched his back with a wince. He regretted falling asleep on the couch with Miles the night before. He knew Miles had spent many nights crashed on the couch in the past but it had to be the most uncomfortable thing Alex had ever slept on. He made a mental note to look into replacing it when they got back from tour.

He was about to go to the loo when he finally caught sight of the note on the table in front of him. He distinctly recognized Miles's messy scrawl on the scrap of paper and smiled fondly.

Didn't want to wake you but I had to run. Going home to visit Mum for a few days before we head off on tour so I might be out of touch for a few days. Ta. -Miles

Alex stared at the piece of paper, surprised at the words on them and the feeling they provoked. He was disconcerted to find that Miles had gone back to Liverpool without him. Nothing had really been planned, but he'd planned on going with Miles, figuring they could stop in Sheffield as well before heading back to London. 

Digging his mobile out of his pocket he saw that he had one missed text from Alexa, and he read it quickly before trying to call Miles. The call went straight to voicemail so Alex hung up, not actually having any message to relate. 

Glancing at the time he realized he had a half an hour before he needed to meet up with Alexa. He already regretted telling her that he would see him, but she'd confronted him when he was drunk and he had foolishly agreed to see her again. They'd ended things on a bad note this time but he didn't want to throw ten years of friendship down the drain that easily either. 

He got dressed quickly, barely caring what he was throwing on. Jeans and leather jacket made him look presentable without having to make much of an effort. He ran a hand through his short hair, still getting used to the feeling of it being so short. He'd cut it with Miles's advice, reasoning that he would probably end up growing it the entire time they were on tour anyways. 

Stepping out the front door Alex realized that he was dreading the meeting with Alexa. Whether it was deliberate or not Alexa had chosen to meet at the last place they'd seen each other, a small cafe down the block from Alex's flat. He still remembered with anger the memory of their last meeting. Alexa had been the one to break up with him this time but she refused to say why. She just told him that she needed some space, and that she felt like they were drifting apart. This was right after Miles and Alex had returned from France, and Alex remembered being flabbergasted. When he pushed her for a better reason, she just looked at him sadly, and said “oh love, you know why. I just can't do this.” Alex had ended up storming out of the cafe and he hadn't heard from Alexa in months, not until the night before last when he ran into her at the bar. He'd just scored some coke from a friend and was drunk and flying higher then a kite. Alexa hadn't seemed to mind, merely extracting from him a promise to meet up in a couple of days when he was sober. 

Steeling himself Alex opened the door to the cafe and took a look around. He spotted Alexa sitting at a booth in the back, wearing her favorite leopard print coat. He quickly made his way over to the counter before she spotted him, ordering his tea from the sullen barista. Armed with his tea and keeping his sunglasses firmly on his face despite being inside, Alex made his way over to where Alexa was sitting.

She greeted him with a smile which Alex struggled to match. “How are you, love?” she asked him in greeting. Alex winced at the familiar greeting, but managed to keep a straight face.

“Sober if that's what you're asking.” He didn't mean to come off as defensive but every instinct he had was telling him that this meeting was a bad idea. He wished Miles hadn't left for Liverpool that morning so he could have dragged him there with him. Miles would have been a fantastic buffer; its not like he didn't know everything that had ever happened with Alexa and Alex anyways. 

“And how's Miles then?” Alexa inquired as if reading Alex's mind, voice sharpening slightly. Alex raised a brow at her in mock amusement.

“I wasn't aware that you two had become friends since we broke up.”

“Oh please, Alex. We didn't really break up, did we?” Alexa said to Alex's surprise.

“Oh? So what did we do then? I seem to recall you saying you couldn't do this anymore. Not that I know what you were talking about, mind ya,” Alex drawled, pleased to see Alexa grow flustered.

“I said we should take a break. Did you want us to break up?” 

Alex froze at the loaded question, not certain how he really felt on the matter. Taking a sip of his tea, he sputtered to find it hotter then he had expected. Alexa seemed to soften, and reached out across the small table to take his hand.

“I want to try again. I made a mistake. I thought that your attention was elsewhere and I thought I was your second choice. I told you I wanted a break because I wanted to see if anything would happen when we were apart. But nothing did, so I see now that I was wrong.”

Alex listened in surprised silence as Alexa tried to convince him that they shouldn't break him up. He had no idea where Alexa had gotten the impression that she was second best; there was no one else in Alex's life that he was closer too. Maybe Miles and the rest of the Monkeys, but they were just mates. 

“Were you jealous of Miles?” he broke in, incredulously. Alexa blushed, and suddenly it all made sense to Miles. She'd confronted him after he'd gotten back from France with Miles but they'd only gone over there to record their album together. It was ludicrous that she was jealous of all the time that they spent together. There's no way he thought of Miles as anything more than a best mate.

Unbidden the picture of Miles, peacefully asleep on the couch sprang into Alex's mind. He shook his head quickly as if to dispel the thought. No. They were just best mates, that was all. The bromance was a fun part of their relationship, nothing more. Neither of them took it too seriously.

“I would never cheat on you, Alexa,” Alex said sadly, squeezing her hand gently. Alexa smiled at him then, her first genuine smile since he'd entered the cafe.

“I know that now. I told you it was silly. Nothing did happen, right?”

Pushing down thoughts of last night that were again struggling to rise to the surface, Alex replied in the affirmative. They parted that day in good spirits, with the intention of taking things slow for a while. 

They met up a few times in the next couple of days, easily falling back into their old routines. Alexa joined the Monkeys when they went out one night, and everyone made a point not to mention the time that they had spent apart. 

The first time Alexa got up to use the loo Matt had cornered Alex, looking concerned.

“Hey, mate, have you heard from Miles lately?” he questioned. 

Alex had to think about it for a minute. He'd been so wrapped up in packing and being back together with Alexa that he realized with shame that he hadn't actually heard from his band mate in a couple of days; not since Miles had left for Liverpool.

“Ah, no I haven't actually,” he admitted, shame faced. “I know he was going to Liverpool for a few days before we left next Monday though.”

Matt seemed disappointed, either in Alex or his answer, Alex wasn't sure which. “I know. He called me before he left to ask me to pass something on to his manager. I haven't heard from him since then, and he's shut off his mobile.”

Alex was shocked. “Why did he call you to do that though? He left for Liverpool from my house after all. He could have just asked me.”

Matt looked surprised. “He left from your house? He called me at like six in the bloody morning! I was pissed he woke me up.”

“Yeah we spent the night drinking so he bunked over. It wasn't a big deal.”

“If you say so. Anyways, it's not like him to turn his mobile off like that. Especially this close to tour. I wonder if everything is okay,” Matt mused. 

The more Alex thought about it the more he started to worry. Miles was never irresponsible and something about the situation seemed off to him now that Matt mentioned it. 

“Are you sure it's still off?” Alex questioned, already whipping out his mobile to check for himself. Sure enough it rang straight to voicemail. Matt remained silent as Alex hung up and quickly pulled up another contact on his phone. 

Despite being in a crowded bar it seemed like the only thing that Alex could hear was the ringing of the phone in his ear. One, two, three times. He nearly gave up when all of a sudden there was a voice at the other end of the line. 

“'Ello?” It was Miles. 

Alex opened his mouth to speak but just then someone bumped into him, causing him to fumble with his phone. He dropped it with a muffled oath, turning to curse at the clumsy bystander and quickly rescuing his mobile from the floor before it was crushed under foot. 

Alexa stared back him with a smile. “Sorry, luv. Who were you calling?”

There was no way she had done it deliberately, but Alex couldn't help but think it was odd that she hand caused him to hang up on Miles coincidentally. He must have paused for too long because Matt started to answer for him. Alex shook his head firmly at his friend who, luckily, caught the hint in time and coughed instead.

Alexa looked between them suspiciously.

“No one, just checking my voicemail. Me mum called earlier, she wants me to head back to Sheffield before I leave on Monday,” he lied. 

Matt coughed again to hide his surprise and Alex fought to keep a straight face. He had no idea why he was lying to Alexa. Perhaps it was her conversation at the cafe that made him wary about bringing up his friendship with Miles to her. But he knew that she wouldn't understand his concern for his friend. Despite Miles answering the phone at his parents place, Alex found himself suddenly resolved to go pick up his friend and bring him home. Besides, he really did need to stop in and say goodbye to his mother before he left. Sheffield wasn't too far from Liverpool. 

Alexa looked disappointed at the news and Matt shot him a knowing look. “If you're going home I reckon I ought as well,” he announced. “Me mum will kill me if she sees that you went home and I didn't.”

“I'll go with you boys,” Alexa announced, causing Alex's stomach to drop. “When do you leave?”

Alex shot a helpless look at Matt, wracking his mind for a way out of the situation. He panicked for a minute and then he had an idea. 

“First thing in the morning,” he said confidently. “Won't be getting back until Saturday night. Didn't you say you had that photo shoot on Friday night?” he asked innocently. Alexa's face fell.

“Drat. I completely forgot about that. Shame, I haven't seen your mum in a while,” she lamented. Matt made a sympathetic sound before stating his intention to get a new drink and heading off. Left alone with Alexa, Alex felt guilty immediately, though not enough to change his plans.

“I'm sorry,” he apologized. “I forgot she'd been bugging me to stop over before I left on tour. Monday just sort of snuck up on me what with all that's going on.”

Alexa leaned against Alex with a sigh, causing him to put his arm around her in support. “It's fine. I should have thought of it myself. It's just that you're leaving in a few days and I wanted to spend every minute I could with you until then.”

Alex nodded in understanding, but for once he didn't feel the urge to have his every waking moment entwined with Alexa. He wouldn't mind escaping to Sheffield for a few days, and he realized he'd missed Miles's constant presence in the short time they'd be separated. He wasn't sure what that said about his and Alexa's relationship but he imagined it didn't bode well. 

At the end of the night Alexa invited Alex back to her place but he declined, stating that Helders and he were planning on getting an early start the next morning. Alexa didn't bother hiding her disappointment but she kissed him fleetingly on the cheek when he left. Alex tried to ignore the sense of relief he felt as he walked away from her door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these updates are so short, I only have time to edit small chunks at a time! Plus as you know I skip around from POV a lot so I tend to make my chapter breaks based on that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles wasn't hiding from his problems. He just needed some time to sort things out. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

Hearing a dial tone, Miles hung up the phone with a puzzled expression. It sounded like whoever had answered had dropped the phone. He waited a few minutes to see if they'd call back, but nothing happened. He almost wished that his parents had caller ID but then thought to himself that if the mystery caller didn't care enough to call back it must not have been anyone important in the first place.

 

Miles looked at the calendar with a sigh. In four days he would be leaving for the United States with Alex. He knew he should go back to London to pack up his flat, but hiding out in Liverpool was so much easier. Here at least he didn't have to think about what his friend was up to with Alexa.

 

He knew they were seeing each other again, the tabloids never missed a chance to photograph the two of them together. They had always been the “IT” couple. Both super talented by twenty-two, Alexa as a model and Alex as a rockstar. Miles had been picking up some groceries for his mum at Tesco when he saw the headline. “Alex and Alexa back together!” the obnoxious headline exclaimed. Underneath was a picture of the couple themselves. It looked like they were leaving a bar and hadn't been expecting the paparazzi. Alex was wearing his favorite leather jacket, zipped up to his neck. Miles couldn't help but notice that his friend looked tired and unhappy. Alexa on the other hand was radiant. She too was dressed casually in jeans and a trench coat but her smile was absolutely blinding. They were holding hands in the photograph and looking at it Miles was once more struck by what a perfect couple they were.

 

He'd left Tesco abruptly, suddenly wanting nothing more then to go back to his parents house and wallow in bed feeling sorry for himself.

 

Miles knew he had no right to be upset; Alex was his best mate. He should be happy that Alex was happy. But he'd never really been friends with Alexa; he'd never gotten to know her as well as he'd gotten to know Alex. And so when she'd dumped Alex without an explanation he'd decided she was a seflish bitch, longtime friendship with Alex notwithstanding.

 

Miles was there for Alex after the breakup. He was there for the drunken nights, the nights when Alex couldn't be left alone for a second or he was liable to get himself into trouble. Miles couldn't even count how many drug deals he broke up, or how many fights he and the other Monkeys had to break up. Alex was completely heartbroken, and it was twice as bad because he honestly had no idea what he had done wrong this time. Neither had Miles for that matter. He knew his friend might fool around a little while on tour, but it was nothing serious. And he had always been honest with Alexa about it. But for Alexa to accuse Alex of cheating, well that was the last straw.

 

Miles supposed that his dislike of Alexa, which he'd made no secret of after the breakup, was the reason that Alex hadn't told him himself of their reconciliation. It still hurt though. It hurt to have to read about it in the papers rather than hear about it from his best mate himself. And if he was honest with himself, it hurt that much more because he was beginning to realize that somewhere along the line he had fallen for Alex.

 

Hence the reason he was currently in Liverpool. He couldn't face Alex and Alexa right now. Not when he had finally realized his feelings for his friend . Miles wasn't hiding from his problems. He just needed some time to sort things out. Or at least that's what he kept telling himself.

 

Miles was saved from self pity when he got home by his mother demanding he help her move some furniture around. The physical work was a welcome distraction and hopefully it would help him sleep that night. He hadn't been sleeping well since he'd left London, finding it increasingly hard to shut off his overactive brain.

 

It wasn't until dinner that night that his mother brought up his leaving for the first time.

 

“Not that I'm not glad to see you, dear,” she said to him, “but shouldn’t you be heading home? Surely there's still a million things to do before you leave. You always did like to procrastinate.”

 

Feeling slightly guilty, Miles's thoughts immediately went to his mobile lying upstairs next to his bed. He'd shut it off almost immediately after leaving Alex's house three days ago. He knew it was selfish to shut off all communication with the world but he'd needed some time for himself. His mother hadn't questioned his behavior until now, but he realized she was right.

 

“I'll call my manager tonight,” he promised her. “I'm sure Al has managed to hold down the fort without me, though.”

 

Mile's mother looked at him steadily. “How is Alex these days? I'm surprised you didn't bring him with you this time, you two are usually inseparable.”

 

Miles winced. He knew Alex had been planning on traveling home with him. They had each introduced each other to their families early on in their friendship. They'd still been touring with each other at the time and both Sheffield and Liverpool were regular stops on the circuit. Miles remembered finding it hilarious that his mother and Alex's mother were so similar; they even had some of the same decorations in their respective houses. Alex, on the other hand, insisted it was creepy, but he got on like a house on fire with Mile's mother.

 

“I think Alex wanted to take Alexa home with him,” he said nonchalantly, trying to sound like he didn't care. Nothing slipped by his mother though.

 

“Well I don't know why he got back together with that girl. She's nothing but trouble!”

 

“Mum!” Miles protested halfheartedly.

 

“I'll say no more on the matter,” his mother said wisely, “but that girl is not welcome in this house.”

 

Mile's father spoke up for the first time since they'd begun the conversation. “Why on earth would that girl come here, my dear?” he questioned his wife. “She's Alex's girlfriend, not Miles's.”

 

She just smiled at Miles knowingly, making him squirm in his seat. It was almost as if she knew what Miles had only recently figured out himself. But that was ludicrous. There's no way she figured it out before he had.

 

Miles quickly changed the subject for the rest of the meal before excusing himself to retrieve his mobile. Turning it on for the first time in days he was surprised to see how many missed calls he had. Most of them were from his manager probably pissed that Miles had ducked out of town and only had Matt pass the information on as an afterthought.

 

Miles was pleasantly surprised to see that he had a dozen missed calls from Alex, but then was disappointed to find that there were no messages. It seemed like most of the calls had come from the day he had left and then contact had trickled off. He supposed he didn't have the right to be disappointed that Alex hadn't tried harder to get a hold of him; he had turned his mobile off for a reason after all.

 

Matt had called a few times as well, but he at least had the courtesy to leave a message.

 

“ _Hey mate, getting worried that we haven't heard from you in a few days. Look, I know you needed to get away to sort some stuff out but we're all worried. Its not like you to just take off like that. Anyways. I should probably warn you that Alex has got it in his head that he has to go collect you himself before stopping in Sheffield on the way back. Alexa wanted to go with him, but she's got some modeling gig she can't miss. I offered to go with him so the poor bugger doesn't drive himself off the road in his haste to get to you. Remember the last time he drove by himself? I'd rather not have a repeat of that. Ah, so yeah. Give us a call so we know you're still alive. And if you don't, well, we'll see you tomorrow anyways. Later!”_

 

Miles had to smile at Matt's rambling message. It was nice to know that people had been concerned about him, even if he wasn't sure if he was ready to face Alex again.

 

Miles returned downstairs to find his parents gathered in the sitting room watching telly. Miles sat down on the couch next to his mother.

 

“Alex is coming up tomorrow,” he announced abruptly when the first commercial came on. His mother looked up from the magazine she had been absently flipping through.

 

“Oh?” she inquired, prompting Miles to explain that Matt and Alex would be picking him up before they all ventured on to Sheffield. Miles's mother nodded approvingly.  


“About time you headed home,” she said.

 

“We're not going home yet mum. We are stopping in Sheffield, remember?” Miles reminded her.

 

“Of course, dear,” she answered absently. Miles shook his head, and returned his attention to the rerun of Doctor Who that was airing.

 

Taking out his mobile from his pocket he debated sending a message to Alex, but then decided it could wait until the next day. After all, Alex hadn't sent him any messages in the three days he was gone either. It was childish but he didn't want to be the first one to break the silence between them.

 

He did fire off a quick message to Matt though, telling him to let him know when they were close. Matt responded quickly.

 

“ _You're alive! Will let the diva know; he seems to have worked himself into quite the state over your disappearance.”_

 

Miles smiled fondly, though he expected Matt was exaggerating. Still, despite his apprehension on how to act around Alex, he found himself excited to be reunited.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am still alive. I'm so sorry for the wait. I have no excuses. Don't hate me?
> 
> x


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt and Alex arrive in Liverpool.

Alex gripped the wheel tightly and swore. “Why is this lorry so slow!” he griped. Matt looked up from his mobile and cackled.

 

“Calm down, Alex. Miles will still be in Liverpool whether we get there in an hour or six hours from now,” he said knowingly.

 

“We don't know that!” Alex protested, throwing his hands up in the air briefly, and causing Matt to grab the wheel in panic. Shooing Matt's hands off the wheel, Alex gripped the wheel with white knuckles once more, before continuing his train of thought. “No one's heard from him in days. What if he's not there any more! What if we can't find him!”

 

Alex's hysterics were interrupted by the sound of Matt's mobile beeping. Matt glanced down and grinned at the message on the screen. Alex wanted to see what was so amusing but he kept his eyes firmly on the road this time. “What?” he demanded.

 

Matt held up his mobile and shook it. “Just got an important text,” he teased to Alex's exasperation.

 

“If its some bird you hooked up with I really don't need to hear the details,” he grumped.

 

“What if it was from Miles?”

 

Alex shot a glare at his friend, unintentionally cutting the wheel towards incoming traffic. Luckily it was only for a split second and he was able to quickly correct the situation.

 

“Jesus Alex. Try not to kill us this time,” Matt said, scowling. “I swear to god you're going to give me a heart attack before this trip is over.”

 

Alex scowled. “What did Miles say?” he asked impatiently. “I thought he turned his phone off!”

 

Matt smirked at Alex's impatience. “Well he did but he turned it back on. I texted him to let him know that we were on our way to kidnap him.”

 

Alex wanted to ask why Matt felt the need to warn Miles, but didn't voice the question. He knew Matt probably thought he was acting irrationally, and the truth was he didn't think he could explain his actions either. Miles was perfectly able to go visit home without him, and yet he couldn't help but think that something more was going on. And he recognized, thanks to Matt's hints, that he had been a bad friend to Miles the last few days. He wanted to blame it all on his reconciliation with Alexa, but he knew that was no excuse.

 

Alex had messed up. He may not be entirely sure how, but he had. He needed to fix it. Hence the reason he was embarking on this mad dash trip to Liverpool. He was slightly apprehensive now that he knew that Matt had alerted Miles to their arrival. He hoped that he was over thinking things, but he had a feeling something was wrong.

 

Despite telling Alexa that he wanted to get an early start, Alex had found that it was impossible to leave before the afternoon. His agent was upset that he was taking off on such short notice, but Alex assured him that he would be back by Saturday night at the latest, with Miles in tow. That seemed to convince him to let Alex go.

 

By the time they finally pulled into Liverpool it was past dusk. Matt had texted Miles when they got closer, explaining to Alex that it wouldn't be polite to just descend on the Kane household without warning. Alex pretended he wasn't nervous as they pulled into the driveway. He and Matt were barely out of the car before the door was opening and a beaming Mrs. Kane was coming out to greet them.

 

“Boys!” she greeted them warmly with open arms. Alex relaxed into her hug, feeling at peace for the first time in hours. Mile's mum reminded him so much of his own mother, but with a wicked sense of humor. She was like a second mother to him.

 

When they pulled apart she greeted Matt with a quick hug but Alex's attention was caught by the figure that had just appeared in the doorway. Miles.

 

Ignoring his stuff in the car he slowly walked up the drive to the house. Miles started walking towards him as well, shooting him a quiet grin as he got closer.

 

“Alright then?” Alex inquired, stopping to stare at his friend. If Miles had looked tired the last time Alex had seen him he looked absolutely wrecked now. The bags under his eyes looked they were permanent now; charcoal smudges marring his pale complexion. He looked like he'd lost some weight as well, clothes hanging loosely on this lanky frame. Alex started to feel concerned once more.

 

Miles shrugged, looking away. “Alright. You?”

 

Alex grinned, trying to lighten the mood a little. “Well I did have to drive three hours just to come rescue my bandmate who went MIA. But otherwise, fine.”

 

It seemed like that was the wrong thing to say because Miles's face dropped. Before he could say anything else though, Matt came bounding up the walk like an over active puppy.

 

“Miles!” he exclaimed, grabbing the lad in a crushing hug while Alex looked on sullenly. He wasn't sure when Miles and Matt had become such close friends but the affection was evident on both sides as the two separated. Matt mussed at Mile's hair while Miles swatted him away.

 

“Helders,” he greeted him with a grin. “Thanks for the warning,” he said quietly enough that Alex almost didn't hear him. Matt didn't reply, but swung an arm around Miles instead.

 

“Let's go inside,” Miles's mother invited, coming up behind them. Walking around the boys she lead the way into the house. The boys were ushered into the sitting room while Miles helped his mother with tea service.

 

Conversation flowed naturally while the boys drank their tea. Matt updated everyone on his plans for the upcoming months, talking about putting out a solo album of his own with the contributions of the other Monkeys.

 

Miles was mostly quiet, which was unusual for him. Alex kept sneaking glances over at his friend but couldn't figure out what was wrong. Miles didn't seem to be physically ill, he kept his tea down and even ate a couple of the homemade biscuits that had been brought out. His silence was starting to grate on Alex though, and he was grateful for the distraction of Miles's dad coming in.

 

“Lads,” he greeted them with a nod, grabbing himself a cup of tea and sitting down with a grateful sigh. He looked around as he took a cautious sip of his tea. “Will you lads be here long?” he inquired.

 

“We're just stopping to get Miles,” Alex announced, looking sideways at Miles to see his reaction to the news. When he didn't so much as bat an eye Alex knew that Matt must have told him already. “We're heading to Sheffield next, before heading back to London.”

 

“And then off to the US,” Miles's mother added.

 

“And then off to the US,” Miles confirmed with a smile. Alex knew he was excited for his first US tour. Alex had been there before but was excited to travel it again with his friend.

 

“I'm surprised you didn't bring your girlfriend with you, if you're stopping in Sheffield,” Miles's dad remarked. For some reason the tension in the room seemed to rise a few notches.

 

“Uh...she had a gig she couldn't miss,” Alex explained, not sure why he was reluctant to talk about Alexa.

 

Miles's dad nodded and looked like he wanted to ask something further but Matt suddenly jumped in and changed the subject. Alex looked over at him, wondering what was going on, and saw that Matt was looking over at Miles with a concerned look on his face. Miles was staring determinedly at his teacup.

 

“Oh, look at the time. Alan, we should be getting to bed,” Mile's mother said after a while. “Miles you'll show Matt and Alex the spare room? You can leave in the morning.”

 

Alex expected Matt to protest, but he didn't. Alex supposed they could have headed to Sheffield that night, but he was tired and stressed from driving out earlier and he welcomed the chance to rest.

 

Not long after Miles' parents went to bed Matt excused himself to go grab his stuff from the car. Alex stood up to go with him but Matt waved him back. “I'll grab your stuff,” he offered, gesturing back to the sitting room where Miles was still sitting.

 

Alex approached the room hesitantly. He didn't know what to say to Miles. It was a first in their friendship for things to be this awkward between them.

 

Miles was gathering up the empty tea cups when Alex walked back in but he startled a little when Alex picked up the one he was reaching for next.

 

“I'll help,” he offered. Miles thanked him with a smile, and headed into the kitchen with Alex trailing behind him. Miles carefully washed out the cups before passing them to Alex to dry. It was something they'd done a hundred times when visiting each other's houses, but something about it felt oddly domestic. Alex wracked his brain on how to break the tension, but couldn't think of the right thing to say.

 

“Are you okay?” He finally blurted out, flushing as any attempt at subtlety failed. Miles stilled in the act of drying his hands, before turning to face Alex with a sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://canon-to-me.tumblr.com/)! If you nag me enough I might remember to update more often! ;/


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are partial confrontations and Miles admits some things out loud for the first time.

Miles froze. He should have known that Alex would end up confronting him like this. Alex had the uncanny ability to tell when something was bothering Miles and always made sure to call him on it. That was probably why their friendship functioned as well as it did. Whenever Miles tried to draw in on himself Alex was always there to draw him back out.

Realizing that Alex was waiting on an answer, Miles folded the towel and put it down on the counter. He smoothed the edges out carefully and precisely. Alex waited patiently, but Miles knew he couldn't draw it out forever.

“I'm sorry,” he started by saying, to Alex's surprise. “I know I've been acting like a right wanker. I just, got some news that wasn't all together welcome. And I needed some time to deal with it.”

Alex studied him steadily for a few minutes, clearly deciding what to say next. “And have you? Dealt with it, I mean?” 

“I have, yes,” Miles said, struggling to keep the bitterness out of his voice. From the look on Alex's face he wasn't entirely successful. “Look, I'm sorry for running away without a word of warning. I”m sure my agent is pissed at me.”

“He might be a bit, yeah,” Alex admitted, still not taking his intense gaze off of Miles. He seemed like he wanted to push the matter further, but Miles cut him off before he could.

“Look, I'm sorry. Everything is fine, I swear.” Miles knew that the insomnia had been getting the best of him the last few nights and he looked like crap, but he hoped that Alex wouldn't call him on it. And he wasn't lying, exactly. He had come to accept the situation for what it was. He was in love with his best friend -his best friend who had a girlfriend and didn't reciprocate his feelings. That was the end of it. Miles would deal with it and move on. He didn't have a choice.

Thankfully Matt chose that moment to stumble in the door. “Jesus, Alex. What the hell did you pack in here, rocks?” he demanded, lifting up Alex's duffel with a wheeze. 

Alex laughed at the sight of Matt's red face, breaking the tension for the first time. “You've got to get in better shape Helders,” he mocked, going over and grabbing his bag from the other lad. Lifting it with one hand over his head he laughed as Matt flipped him off. 

“Enough you two,” Miles scolded, getting in between them. “Its getting late, I'll show you to the guest room.” 

Matt and Alex followed complacently along behind him as Miles made his way down the hall. He was beginning to feel a little apprehensive about the sleeping arrangements. There was only one bed in the guest room, though the room did have a separate sleeping area with a perfectly comfortable couch. He'd been sleeping in the bed, but now that Alex and Matt were here he would offer to take the couch and let them fight over the bed.

“Here we are,” Miles announced with a flourish, opening the door the room and beckoning the other two in. Matt stepped in first, taking a long look around. It was his first time staying over at Miles's parents house though Alex had been there many times before.

“Just the one bed?” Matt inquired innocently. 

Miles blinked. “There's a separate sitting room attached to this room,” he explained, gesturing towards the open door at the far side of the room. “I'll take the couch in there, you two can have the bed.”

Both Alex and Matt looked slightly disappointed in Miles's calm announcement, but it was Matt who spoke up first. “Nonsense. You look like you haven't slept in a week mate, there's no way I'm letting you take the couch. And Alex here is probably done in from driving all the way here. I'll take the couch.”

Alex protested before the words were even out of Matt's mouth. “I'll take the couch, it's no problem. I've done it before.”

Miles couldn’t help the slight stab of hurt he felt at Alex's refusal, as if sharing a bed with Miles was something to avoid. Matt was having none of it, however. The more Alex protested the more Matt argued back. Finally Matt grabbed his stuff and all but booked it for the other room, closing the door behind him with a snap.

Alex looked at Miles bewildered. “What on earth has gotten into him?” he wondered. 

Miles shrugged. “I can sleep on the floor if you don't want to share the bed,” he offered quietly, not wanting to make his friend uncomfortable.

Alex shook his head. “Nah, mate, Matt was right. You look like shit. We'll share the bed. There's plenty of room for both of us, eh?” And with that decided Alex went about getting his stuff ready for bed. Miles followed his lead and soon the two were tucked into bed. Miles knocked back a sleeping pill, avoiding Alex's questioning gaze before turning off the light.

Miles lay unmoving on his side of the bed, thoughts racing through his head. He was sharing a bed with Alex for the first time. And of course it had to be after he had finally realized his feelings for the other boy. He found himself paralyzed, unable to move for fear of disturbing Alex. 

It didn't take long for Alex's breathing to even out and he was soon fast asleep on the other side of the bed. Once he was sure Alex was asleep Miles turned over and lay facing the other boys back, contemplating the situation. He was startled when Alex shifted on the bed, and quickly shut his eyes. When the movement stopped he cracked one eye open to see if Alex was awake. He didn't appear to be, though he had turned around and was now facing Miles's direction. He'd also moved closer to the center of the bed, putting him perilously close to Miles's prone figure.

Miles swore he stopped breathing for a minute. He studied his friends face, finally peaceful in sleep. With his face relaxed like this Alex looked years younger than twenty-two and Miles was once more reminded of the young boy he'd met at eighteen. They were both new to the rock scene back then, both inexperienced at the game. But Alex had taken a liking to Miles for some reason and swept him under his wing. Miles was grateful that Alex didn't just abandon him when the Monkeys took off, though he easily could have. This collaboration between them was like a dream come true. Nothing he did could jeopardize that.

Almost against his will he snaked his arm out from under the blanket. Alex's hand was resting on top of the covers between them. Miles didn't dare take it in his, but he rested his very gently on the covers next to it. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

~~

Miles awoke to someone shaking his shoulder.

“Whaaaaa?” he mumbled, fighting against the unwelcome sensation in order to sleep for just a few minutes longer. But the shaker was persistent, so Miles finally cracked his eyes open enough to see Matt's face just inches from his own.

“Fuck!” he recoiled in shock, only to bump into a solid surface. Matt's shoulders shook with silent laughter as Miles turned over to find that Alex must have shifted closer in his sleep and, thanks to Miles's movement, was now pressed up against his side. Miles could feel himself flush even further when he realized that Alex's arm was slung over his torso. If Matt weren't in the room Miles might have taken a minute to simply memorize the feeling, but there was no time for that. He sat up quickly and hissed “what do you want?” at the still laughing Matt.

Matt just gestured for Miles to get up and left the room. Miles debated waking Alex for a minute, but then decided not to. The other lad looked so peaceful in his sleep, and it seemed like Matt wanted to speak to him without Alex anyways.

Miles got up and quickly gathered his stuff together before slipping into the bathroom. Faded jeans and a leather jacket were thrown on in haste before Miles deemed himself presentable. Stepping out the door of the guest room he was attempting to flatten down his bed head when he once more bumped into Matt who was sitting on the floor waiting for him.

“Can't get away from you today can I?” Miles grumbled halfheartedly. Matt just grinned, knowing Miles didn't mean it.

“Thought we could go grab some breakfast while Sleeping Beauty sleeps a little longer,” Matt explained, taking off down the hall with Miles following. Alex wasn't really a morning person Miles knew from experience, so he went along with Matt without a second thought. 

They decided to walk to the cafe because it really wasn't that far from Miles house and neither of them felt like driving. They quickly came to regret the decision when they were halfway there and it started sleeting though. Matt slipped once on the icy pavement and fell on his ass, Miles laughing until he thought he was going to cry. Matt threatened to give him a fall of his own, but Miles couldn't stop laughing at the sight of Matt, ass on the pavement, scowling indignantly. 

They evenrually made it to the cafe without further mishap, though Matt kept scowling up at the sky as it were personally responsible for his humiliating spill earlier.

It wasn't until they placed their orders and had their coffee, or in Miles's case tea, placed in front of them that Matt revealed the real reason he'd dragged Miles out from the house so early.

“How are you, mate?” he asked seriously, all sense of previous levity vanished.

Miles swallowed nervously. It didn't seem like an off hand question, there was something very deliberate in Matt's tone of voice. He wasn't so sure he could brush Matt off as easily as he could Alex. Matt had always been the diplomatic one in the Monkeys, according to some of the stories Alex had told Miles. It seemed like this time he was going to be on the receiving end of Matt's discerning gaze and with the secret he was trying to hide it wasn't a good feeling.

It seemed like Miles was silent for too long because Matt jumped in before Miles could think of anything to say.

“I think I know what's going on.” 

Miles froze with the cup halfway to his lips. “You do?” he croaked out. Matt nodded smugly.

“It's...well I wouldn't say its obvious, per say. But I've had my suspicions for a while,” he admitted. Miles forced himself to take a sip of his tea, delaying any need to respond. 

“Just to be clear,” he said hesitantly, not sure if it was a good idea, but needing to know all the same. “What exactly do you think you know?”

“That you're in love with Alex, of course,” Matt replied matter of factly.

Love. There was that term that Miles had been trying to avoid for the last few days. Admitting to himself that he had feelings for his best friend was one thing; admitting he loved him was quite another entirely. But as Matt said it Miles realized that there was no more avoiding it. He was in love with Alex. Utterly and completely. 

Miles nodded, knowing that Matt would expect some kind of answer. “It doesn't matter though,” he confessed despondently. Matt knew what he meant instantly.

“Alexa,” he stated, frowning for the first time during the course of their discussion. 

Miles hesitated once more, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer, but knowing that hearing the answer from Matt he would at least have time to prepare himself.

“How are they, by the way? My contact with the outside world has been...nonexistent the past few days,” Miles admitted.

Matt frowned at Miles's admission before responding. It seemed to Miles that Matt was choosing his words very carefully. “I'm sure you've heard by now but they are back together.” 

Miles nodded. The tabloids had made that much clear at least. And he'd already stumbled on the fact when he'd seen Alex's phone by accident. 

“I'm surprised they got back together,” he admitted. “Alex was so broken up when she dumped him, I didn't think that he would get past it for a while.”

Matt frowned. “I'm not sure he has gotten past it; that's the problem. Alexa's always been a huge part of his life. So when she told him she wanted to get back together I don't think it occurred to him not to do what she wanted. He always goes along with what she wants without a thought for himself. Besides, he told me that it wasn't a break up all along, he had just misunderstood. Alexa apparently told him she just wanted to take a break.”

Miles sputtered indignantly. “You must be joking,” he said flatly. “Taking a break? They had no contact for three months even though they were living in the same city!”

“Yeah, I called bullshit on it but then he got all quiet on me so I didn't want to push the issue. He doesn't want to hear the truth about her.”

Miles grimaced. “So they're happy, then?”

“I wouldn't say that. Alexa's happy of course, she got her way. But Alex has been acting weird ever since they got back together.”

“Weird how?” Miles demanded but Matt's answer was interrupted by the arrival of their breakfast. The conversation was derailed at that point, and Miles was torn as to whether he was glad or if he wanted to continue the line of questioning.

It wasn't until they were walking back to Miles's house, with Miles juggling two coffees in his hand as a peace offering to Alex for going without him, that Matt brought the subject up again.

“So you and Alex leave for the US in a few days,” he stated casually. Miles shot a look over at him, trying to read his expression for clues as to where he was going with the comment.

“Yeah. On Monday actually,” he confirmed.

“I don't want to give you false hope, but things aren't all butterflies and rainbows with Alex and Alexa,” Matt informed him seriously. Miles felt his heart rise a little at the thought that he might actually have a chance, but he quickly pushed the hope back down.

“Maybe not but he made a choice. I'm not going to get between them,” he admitted regretfully. 

He'd thought about it, of course he'd thought about it. With the Last Shadow Puppets touring the US for the next three months, there would be endless opportunities for Miles to make a move on Alex if he so chose. They would be isolated from the rest of their friends and family; it would be like France all over again. But he couldn't do that to his friend. Unhappy or not he couldn't sabotage his relationship with Alexa just so he could be happy himself. And he'd never had a sign that Alex felt the same way about him. Miles didn't know what he would do if he lost Alex as a friend because he told him how he felt and things got awkward. No. Better to try and move on in secret. Or at least that's the conclusion that Miles had come to in the last few days.

“It wasn't really a choice, though, was it?” Matt pointed out. “He didn't know about your feelings.”

“And he's not going to,” Miles stated firmly, glancing over at Matt to make sure the other boy knew he was serious. Matt opened his mouth once, doubtless to argue, but they reached Miles's house and were greeted by a shout.

Miles looked up and saw Alex sitting on the step, smoking a fag. 

“Where the fuck did you two get off to so early?” Alex demanded impatiently. “I suppose it didn't cross either of your minds to let me know where you'd gone?” He tried to play it off but Miles could tell that he was seriously upset over something. 

“Sorry mate,” Miles apologized before Matt could antagonize Alex further. “Matt woke me up early for breakfast, but we thought you could use the extra sleep. Brought you a coffee though,” he said, holding the warm Styrofoam cup out as a peace offering. Alex took it thankfully, fingers brushing against Miles's briefly as he passed the cup over. 

“So what's the plan then,” Miles asked conversationally, trying to ignore the shock that Alex's fingers had sparked when they had briefly touched.

“Me mum's been nagging me to visit so I was thinking we could spend a night in Sheffield then head back sometime tomorrow. If that's okay with you,” Alex added as an afterthought. 

Miles grinned. “I was under the impression that I was being kidnapped, pretty sure I don't have a say in the matter,” he joked. 

Matt headed inside to gather his stuff up so they could leave but Miles remained outside with Alex for a bit, bumming a smoke off of Alex. Alex was mostly silent, still not awake from what Miles could observe. It always took Alex a few hours to wake up in the morning and it was still early so Miles wasn't really surprised that his friend was so quiet. 

It wasn't long before Alex and Miles headed in as well. Miles gathered his stuff together and bid goodbye to his parents. His mother made him promise to call every few weeks while he was in the US to which Miles promised he'd try his best. 

Getting in the car with Alex and Matt to head to Sheffield Miles couldn't help but sigh as he saw his house disappearing out the rear view window. Matt's words had given him something to think about but he was confident he had made the right decision. He just had to stick with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a huge fan of this chapter but well. Here it is. Things start to get interesting next chapter I promise!
> 
> And as always, come say hi on tumblr!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles and Alex get ready for their first big show in New York and run into some complications during sound check.

The visit to Sheffield was quick and relatively uneventful. Miles enjoyed spending time with Alex's family normally, but for once he couldn't wait to get out of there. At dinner the first night Alex's mum had asked Alex all about his relationship with Alexa. Alex seemed uncomfortable with the topic, but Miles tried not to read too much into it. It was clear that Alex and Alexa still had some issues to work out, but Alex wouldn't be back together with her if he didn't want to be.

 

Before Miles knew it they were leaving England for the start of their first US tour. The Rascals had never toured in the US before so this was his first proper US tour. Alex was practically bouncing off the walls on their flight over. He kept going on and on about how much fun the tour was going to be, and how it was just him and Miles against the world this time. Miles finally had to slip him a sleeping pill to get him to calm down. Alex fell asleep like he did anything else, abruptly and completely. Miles enjoyed the rest of the flight in silence, listening to his mp3 player and losing himself in the music.

 

The first stop on their tour was New York. They were playing a moderately sized venue, banking on Alex's fame to sell the seats rather than the success of their new project. Some people liked to bring that fact up to Miles but Alex always fiercely defended him.

 

Miles loved New York City. If he had to live anywhere else in the world it would be New York City. He knew he was romanticizing the city to an extent, but there was something about the hustle and bustle of the city that appealed to him. Perhaps the anonymity as well. He wasn't famous enough to be bothered when at home in England, but it happened often enough to be a nuisance, especially when he was staying in London.

 

Miles loved exploring the city, sticking to the tourist haunts despite Alex's whining.

 

“You didn't have to come along with me,” he pointed out as Alex made yet another comment about how lame it was to just do touristy things.

 

Alex straightened up from the wall where he'd been slouching like a child. “What else would I be doing?” he demanded. “I'm just saying, maybe we should do something off the beaten track. Get to know the “real” New York.”

 

Miles shrugged. “I like doing stuff like this,” he said simply. To his surprise Alex dropped the matter, though he still dragged his feet a little. Miles dragged him to Central Park, just to idly explore for a bit and Alex seemed to brighten up. They walked the winding paths aimlessly, talking and joking together. It was the closest Miles had felt to Alex since Alex had gotten back together with Alexa, and he didn't want the moment to end. But time intruded on them against their will and they soon realized that they needed to be heading back to the venue for soundcheck.

 

Several minutes were spent fruitlessly trying to hail a cab, before they gave up and started walking the nine blocks back to the venue. Of course that made Alex complain all the more, until Miles finally snapped at him that he was being a child. That seemed to do the trick and Alex stopped complaining again, but Miles felt guilty all the same. He apologized immediately but Alex remained silent the rest of the walk. By the time they made it to the venue they were late for soundcheck and their manager yelled at them.

 

The soundcheck, already off to a bad start, continued to be filled with problems. First the volume was too low on Miles's guitar and had to be readjusted which took several minutes of fiddling. Then Alex couldn't get any feedback in his monitor which took even longer to sort out. Miles could see Alex getting angrier and angrier as the process wore on, and he knew it was only a matter of time before the other lad snapped.

 

It all came to a head when the guitar tech knocked into an amp and accidentally unplugged Alex's guitar. Alex practically threw his guitar at the other man before storming off the stage, muttering something about “being surrounded by incompetence.” There was silence for a minute while the guitar tech put the guitar in its stand and looked flustered. The rest of the techs all conferred by the sound board, leaving just Miles and the guitar tech standing on the stage.

 

Miles could tell the other man was mortified at his mistake, so he walked the few steps over to where he was standing and stuck out his hand.

 

“Miles,” he said simply, introducing himself.

 

The other man took a second before hastily sticking his own hand out for Miles to shake. “Eugene. I am so sorry about that, I didn't mean to...” he started to aplogize but Miles cut him off.

 

“No worries, mate. Really. Alex has been a right wanker all day. Its nothing you did.”

 

The other man nodded slowly but looked unconvinced. Before Miles could say anything else though the lead sound tech was asking him to finish soundcheck on his own and he was quickly distracted by going through the motions solo. By the time soundcheck was over Nick was gone.

 

Miles headed backstage to try and find Alex but he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't in the dressing room, or in the lobby. Miles considered looking around a little longer but then decided he'd let Alex stew in peace. He headed back to the dressing room and started getting changed for the performance. Though Alex often made fun of his formal outfits, the truth was Miles felt most comfortable in a suit. Today he was wearing a plain black suit with a skinny tie. It was casual, dressed down from what he usually wore, but he didn't want to clash with Alex too much. He was just buttoning up the suit jacket when Alex stumbled into the room.

 

“All ready, mate?” Alex inquired casually, walking over to the table and throwing a carton of cigarettes down on it.

 

“Yeah. I see you're not though,” Miles criticized, seeing that Alex was wearing the same jeans and white tee shirt he'd been wearing all day.

 

Alex laughed. “All right, mum. I'll go change.” He grabbed his bag from the table and disappeared into the bathroom. Miles wondered at Alex's sudden change in mood from earlier, but decided he really didn't care what had caused it. He was just glad that Alex was done being a primadonna.

 

Miles fiddled with the carton of cigarettes that Alex had left on the table, debating the wisdom of sneaking out for a quick smoke. His debate was suddenly cut short when Alex walked back into the room.

 

For the first time Miles was struck by how handsome his friend was. Alex had, for the first time in Miles's memory, chosen to don a black fitted suit, similar to the one Miles himself was wearing. He'd paired it with a black turtleneck though, and though it shouldn't have looked good all Miles could think was that his friend looked dashing.

 

“Well?” Alex asked, anxiously fiddling with the sleeve of his suit. Miles realized with a blush that he'd been staring at his friend.

 

“You look great,” he admitted. “What's with the new look?”

 

Alex grinned, his smile absolutely blinding in relief. “Just thought I should step up my game a little,” he mocked. “Wouldn't be fair for you to get all the ladies now, would it?”

 

Miles forced himself to grin. There was no one else who could hold his attention tonight; now when Alex was dressed like that. But he played along for the sake of their friendship. “About time you realized that everyone likes a well dressed man,” he exclaimed with a smug air, surreptitiously straightening his collar,though he already knew it was perfect. Alex grinned back, and went back to admiring this reflection in the mirror.

 

“Vain bugger,” Miles thought to himself affectionately.

 

~~

 

The set went off without a hitch; it seemed like their bad luck earlier was over and nothing seemed to go wrong. Alex was soaring high on the applause from the crowd, and Miles couldn't keep the grin off his face the entire set. He played his solos with even more of a flourish then usual, prompting more then one knowing look from Alex. He couldn't help it though, he was always happiest when performing. To finally be able to perform night after night with his best friend was like a dream come true.

 

After the show Alex disappeared for a bit, mobbed by fans. Miles considered rescuing him but then left his friend to his fate since he knew Alex secretly loved the attention. Instead of hanging around backstage by himself he decided to go check on his guitar. He had the beginnings of a song rolling around in his brain and he wanted to try to work out some of the melody while it was fresh in his mind.

 

Approaching the room where he knew the instruments were being held before they were loaded on the bus Miles paused. Someone was already in there, and they seemed to have the same idea as him. Maybe Alex had had beat him here, Miles thought to himself as he pushed the door open with a smile.

 

It wasn't Alex in the room, however, it was the clumsy guitar tech from earlier. When Miles pushed open the door he stopped playing abruptly and put the guitar down. Miles noted absently that it was one of his; just as well really, Alex would have been furious if he'd walked in on the man playing one of his.

 

“Sorry to interrupt,” Miles said with an easy smile. “What were you playing?”

 

Eugene looked surprised, perhaps he'd been expecting to deal with an angry musician. “Oh, that?” he asked sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “That was just something I'd been working on for a while.”

 

Miles was intrigued. He'd only heard a few seconds of the melody but it sounded good. “Would you mind playing it for me again? I liked the chord progression.”

 

 

 

Eugene grinned, and once more took a seat. As he started playing Miles grabbed the closest guitar and began to pick up the melody by ear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm awful at chapter summaries. If anyone wants to take over and redo them for me I would pay them with love. Or a fic of their chosing. Something.
> 
> Sorry for the long wait between chapters. There's really no excuse, this whole story is completely written already it's the revisions that I'm stalling on. And then real life kind of gets in the way sometimes. But I'll try to be better and not make you wait so long between updates. 
> 
> Comments and feedback = love. You can find me on tumblr xx


	10. Chapter 10

Tour was an absolute whirlwind and there was nothing Miles liked better then being swept up in it. There was something magical about going to sleep in one state and waking up hundreds of miles away in a completely different one. Of course tour life wasn't all that glamorous; being stuck on a bus with the same people for hours on a daily basis could get repetitive. But Miles wouldn't trade it for the world.

Alex's mood seemed to have mellowed slightly from the soaring high of the first few days of tour. At times he would stick like glue to Miles's side, practically acting as a second shadow. Those were the times that Miles liked best, when it was just the two of them off in their own world. They spent a lot of the time together playing and working through songs.

But other times Alex simply disappeared. Miles had no idea where he went at those times but he could always tell right before they happened. Alex would seem to withdraw, and fold in on himself. He had his suspicions about what caused those absent spells. He'd overheard Alex on the phone on night after a show. Whoever he was on the phone with was arguing loudly, barely giving Alex a chance to get a word in. Curiosity getting the better of him Miles tried to sneak closer to where Alex was standing in order to overhear at least one side of the conversation.

“...I though you said that you had a gig that weekend in Scotland....no of course I want to see you I just thought you were fully booked up that weekend...no...of course...I have no idea what my schedule is like that week...check with my manager...okay...love you too.”

Alex sighed and hung up the call. Lighting up a fag he took a long drag from it, pointedly ignoring the no smoking signs in the room.

Miles strolled in, trying to act nonchalant, as if he hadn't just been eavesdropping. “Oi. No smoking inside!” he reminded Alex. Alex just shrugged and took another drag.

“Fuck 'em” he said eloquently. Miles snorted, but let it go. He went into the dressing room to get changed for their show and when he went back into the other room Alex was gone; the cigarette stubbed out on the end table. Miles disposed of it with a sigh. Alex missed soundcheck that night, forcing Miles to cover for him. No one looked that convinced when he told them that Alex was sleeping off a slight cold on the bus, but thankfully no one pushed the issue. Miles privately thought to himself that they were just glad not to have to deal with Alex in another one of his moods. He'd been worse then usual in soundchecks the last week, snapping at the techs for no reason.

Miles had apologized to Eugene after one particularly memorable fit of Alex's when no one seemed to be able to adjust the sound in Alex's monitor to his satisfaction.

Eugene laughed it off though. “It's fine. Honestly, he's not the first rock star I've worked with. I know the game with them. Nothings ever good enough.”

Miles had to laugh at that. “Surely I'm not that bad,” he argued, slightly offended.

Eugene had just looked at Miles with an indecipherable look in his eyes. “No, you're not that bad,” he admitted. Miles couldn't help but flush slightly at the insinuation. It was true that he and Eugene were spending a lot of time together. Whenever Alex disappeared on one of his sulks Miles found himself seeking the guitar tech out. They occasionally had a cup of tea together, but more often then not they played guitar together. Miles had come to respect Eugene's guitar skills; so much so that he asked the other man why he was just a lowly guitar tech instead of playing in a band of his own.

“I was in a band, when I nineteen,” Eugene admitted. “But I got kicked out. I joined the band when they lost their bassist, but he ended up coming back so they kicked me out. No need for two bassists.”

“You could have always started a new band, though. You're talented enough,” Miles pointed out.

“To be honest, I thought about it. But there's too many people like your mate out there. Arrogant rock stars. I didn't want to turn into someone like that. I'm happy being a guitar tech and touring with bands like yours.”

Miles tried to defend Alex, but Eugene was having none of it. “I'm sure he's a great guy if you get to know him, but he's full of himself. He's probably been told since he was fifteen years old that he was a musical genius and I'm not saying that the comparison isn't legitimate. But he can be a right ass to people who aren't in his immediate circle.”

Miles opened his mouth to protest, but then the remembered how Alex had called Eugene incompetent the first time they'd met simply because Eugene had accidentally unplugged his guitar. He just shrugged and let Eugene change the subject.

One night a few weeks after Miles eavesdropped on Alex's angry phone conversation, Alex practically booked it off the stage at the end of their set. He'd been in a weird mood all night, but Miles put it down to normal mood swings. Normally with some free time of his own he would seek out Nick for company, but for some reason he felt odd searching out the other man these days. He liked Nick as a mate, but he was beginning to think that Nick wanted more from him then he was able to give.

Instead Miles headed back to the bus, which was deserted at this early hour. He sent a quick text to his manager, checking in, before finding his bunk and passing out. Three weeks of nonstop touring and he was already exhausted and he thought he might be coming down with something. As he began to nod off he thought he could hear the sound of someone else coming aboard the bus but was too tired to bother and find out who it was. There was a security guard outside, so it had to be someone who belonged on there in the first place.

As he was falling asleep he could have sworn he heard a female giggle and Alex's voice shush her in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm always apologizing for not updating so I'll skip that this time. Still working on prompts when I have time so send them over to me on [tumblr](http://canon-to-me.tumblr.com/) xx


	11. Chapter 11

When Alexa had called and suggested meeting up with the tour in Texas, Alex had initially been reluctant. Tour was basically like a big bubble. He'd meant what he had said to Miles on the plane, this tour was him and Miles against the world. Sure there were other people on the periphery of that bubble, but they were the only constant. 

 

So he was somewhat reluctant to have Alexa join their traveling crew, if only for a couple of days. It turned out that one of Alexa's shoots was canceled, and she had an extra three days off before she had to be back in London for a fashion show. She'd suggested to Alex that she could find out where he'd be during that time frame and she would meet him there.

 

Knowing that Alexa had it out for Miles, Alex was reluctant to agree at first. Alexa had been furious when he'd hesitated, asking him if he no longer loved him. And so Alex had been forced to placate her, telling her that of course he'd love to see her.

 

The day that Alexa was due to arrive Alex realized that he had forgotten to tell Miles about her arrival. Alex meant to tell him, he really did, but every time he started to bring the matter up they were interrupted. By the third time it happened he started panicking. It was getting late in the day, and he was running out of time.

 

Determined to find Miles and tell him no matter what, Alex went off in search of his bandmate. He found Miles where he had expected him too, in the dressing room, but in the company of that hack of a guitar tech.

 

The guitar tech was saying something to Miles who was shaking silently with mirth. When Alex stepped in the room both men looked up and fell silent.

 

Feeling immediately defensive for some reason, Alex nodded brusquely to the guitar tech who looked surprised but nodded back.  
  
“Miles, I have something to tell you,” he started to say then paused awkwardly, wondering why it was so hard to talk to Miles today.

 

Just then his mobile rang. Alex debated ignoring it, but then he saw it was Alexa. Miles gestured for him to pick it up with a smile, so Alex did so reluctantly.

 

Turning his back on the room, Alex stifled a sigh. “Hi babe,” he said, absently noting that the conversation seemed to have started again behind him though it was much more subdued.

 

As with any conversation with Alexa these days, Alex found himself struggling to get a word in edgewise. Spacing out, he found himself subconsciously listening to the muted conversation behind him, trying to figure out what was being said without turning around.

 

“...broke up?”

 

“They got back together.”

 

“But why?”

 

_But why_ ? The question posed by douchy guitar tech echoed around in Alex's mind. It was a question he'd been asking himself more and more as the tour went on. Now that he had a little bit of distance from Alexa he was finding it harder and harder to remember why he had agreed to get back together with her in the first place. To be honest he felt like he had barely even agreed to get back together with her at all; looking back at their conversation at the cafe, it felt like he'd been steamrolled into doing whatever Alexa had wanted. Same thing with the break up, or “needing space” as Alexa called it.

 

Listening hard he tried to hear what Miles's response to the guitar tech would be, but none was forthcoming.

 

“...Alex. Are you even listening to me?”

 

Alex nearly dropped his mobile in shock. “Sorry, babe, what was that?” he questioned, moving slowly out of the room into the silent corridor where he was less likely to be distracted. Alexa babbled on and on about some fashion show she'd seen the other day before finally hanging up the phone because she had to catch her flight. She'd be landing in a couple of hours, and by the time the show was over she'd be at the venue they were playing at.

 

Pocketing his mobile he went to go back in the dressing room to once more attempt to inform Miles but as he stepped into the room what he saw made him freeze.

 

Eugene and Miles were standing in the center of the room facing each other. Miles mumbled something and turned to leave but Eugene's hand shot out and grabbed his arm before he could fully turn around. Pulling Miles towards him Eugene enveloped Alex into a tight hug, with Miles seeming to collapse in on him in relief.

 

Thoughts flew through Alex's mind, as he stumbled backwards. What he'd seen was innocent but something about it seemed inherently private and intimate. He wasn't sure how he felt about what he'd seen. In the entire time he'd known Miles he'd never seen him in a relationship with anyone, male or female. But something about that hug seemed like it was more then just casual friendship.

 

Busy trying to figure out what it was he had just stumbled upon, all thoughts of telling Miles about Alexa vanished.

 

  
~~

  
The set was going well, despite a few technical mishaps that Alex was wont to blame on the guitar tech. Alex wasn't even sure why the man was still on tour with them, he clearly couldn't do his job well.

 

Staring out over the sea of faces Alex took in their number but didn't really see any of them in particular. From up here on stage their faces all seemed to blur together in uniformity. He always made a habit of singling out a couple of fans at various places in the room to direct his attention towards so he didn't come off as vacant. For the most part he kept his attention focused on these random fans but he occasionally scanned the rest of the audience as well.

 

It wasn't until the encore when he directed his attention to the side of the stage for a minute that he noticed that Alexa had finally arrived. Strangely enough her appearance didn't stir in him any feeling of happiness or joy. She smiled excitedly and waved and he forced himself to smile back. She was dressed to the nines in a gorgeous black dress that showed off her long legs, but Alex barely spared her a second glance once he knew that she was there.

 

He was agitated for the conclusion of the set, messing up the chords on the encore and singing Miles's harmony on accident at one point. Miles drifted over at one point to see if he was okay but Alex ignored him. As soon as the last song was done Alex booked it off the stage and took off towards the dressing room.

 

Alexa followed behind, weaving slightly as she struggled to catch up to him.

 

“Babe, slow down!” she protested. Alex stopped abruptly, enabling her to sneak up behind him and put her hands around his eyes.

 

“Guess who!” she slurred slightly. Alex gently pried her hands off his eyes.

 

“Are you drunk?” he questioned incredulously. Her flight hadn't landed until an hour ago and she had clearly had more than a few to drink in the meantime. Dealing with a drunk Alexa was not something he wanted to do right now.

 

She giggled a bit, swaying into him with a contented sigh. Alex took that as a yes.

 

“Alright, let's get you some water and paracetamol; then bed,” he prescribed wearily. For some reason he was exhausted and wanted nothing more then to curl up in his bunk and sleep until the next show. With Alexa's arrival he knew that the sleeping quarters were going to be crowded but he didn't want to let her sleep anywhere else but with him tonight.

 

Walking over to the bus he ran into his manager who didn't look pleased at the state Alexa was in.

 

“Miles is already on the bus,” she informed Alex as he struggled to keep Alexa from sitting down on the cold pavement. “Try not to wake him up, yeah? We think he might be coming down with something; he could use all the sleep he can get.”

 

Alex was surprised to hear Miles wasn't feeling well, his bandmate hadn't said anything to him about it earlier.

  
Alexa let out a giggle and once more tried to collapse onto the ground. Alex hoisted her back up with a sigh and once more began propelling her onto the bus.

 

Alexa started laughing again when they boarded the bus but Alex was able to quickly shush her. After depositing her in his bunk Alex walked over to the bunk where Miles was passed out. Alex studied his friend for a minute. Miles was flushed and his breathing was labored. It seemed like he really was coming down with something.

 

Walking to the back of the bus where the bags were stored Alex searched around until he found his faded blue duffel bag. A quick search revealed some Nyquil and a bottle of water. Alex walked back to Miles's bunk and placed the items carefully next to his head. He tentatively reached out a hand to check the other boys temperature but a sound from his bunk caught his attention.

 

Alexa was sitting up and staring at him and her gaze was startling sober. Alex hurried back over as Alexa threw herself back down on the bed.

 

“Scoot over,” he instructed her. She did slowly, and he climbed in the bunk behind her. As soon as he was in the bunk she cuddled up to him enthusiastically. Normally Alex would welcome her cuddling but tonight he waited until she was asleep to gently disengage from her. He spent the rest of the night chasing sleep but only managed to find the fraying edges of it.

 

~~

 

The next morning was, to put it simply, awkward.

 

Alexa was hung over and surly. Miles, when Alex finally saw him for the first time upon waking up, was sick and miserable. He also seemed upset that Alexa was there, but Alex figured that was his fault for not telling Miles that she was coming in the first place.

 

Stuck on the same bus with two miserable people was not the way that Alex wanted to spend his day. Alexa wanted to spend her day in bed, but Alex flatly refused. And so the three of them were currently hanging out in the common area.

 

Miles was pretending to be absorbed in a fashion magazine and was drinking a cup of tea with honey to sooth his sore throat. His attention kept flickering from the magazine to Alexa, and there was something unreadable in his gaze.

 

Alexa had commandeered the TV and was watching some horrible American reality television show. She kept up a running commentary of the show, but Alex was tuning her out for the most part in favor or looking out the window. He watched the trees whip past the windows and thought to himself that he had never before wanted so badly to be off of the bus.

 

When they stopped for gas Miles disappeared for a bit, only to reappear with the guitar tech in tow. Alex grimaced. Alexa immediately jumped upon the new arrival for entertainment.

 

“And who are you?” she demanded as soon as she caught sight of the curly haired man.

 

“This is Eugene,” Miles introduced. Alex realized to his surprise that it was the first time he was hearing the other man's name; he'd never bothered to learn it before.

 

Alexa stared at the new arrival calculatingly. “Are you Miles's boyfriend?” she demanded bluntly. Miles sputtered, and Alex shot her a warning look. Only Eugene seemed unfazed by the question.

 

“Not at the moment,” he said, turning to level a pointed look at Miles. Miles's face turned bright red, and he was saved from reply by a coughing fit.

 

Alexa seemed pleased by the insinuation. “Great. Let's have dinner tonight. The four of us!”

 

This time it was Alex's turn to sputter. “I though you wanted to have dinner alone?” he hissed at her in panic.

 

Alexa smiled at him, and Alex could practically see the wheels turning in her head.

 

“Nonsense. I'd love to catch up with Miles and his new, friend.” Miles shot a panicked look at Alex but Alex refused to meet his gaze. Once Alexa had set her mind on something she made it happen. There was no use arguing with her.

 

Alex had a feeling that the dinner was bound to be a disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr](http://canon-to-me.tumblr.com/) xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles was dreading have to sit through dinner with Alexa and Alex, seeing them be a happy couple right in front of him. At least back in England he could beg out of situations where he'd have to see them, or deal with them in a larger crowd. Dinner with just the four of them was going to be a nightmare.

Miles wasn't sure how Alexa managed to arrange for them to have an afternoon off despite their touring schedule, but manage it she did. After some conferring with the tour manager she came back to announce that the four of them would be having a night off in Colorado.

Miles was dreading the dinner. He didn't want to drag Eugene into it, despite his willingness. Miles was under no illusions that Eugene wanted more from their relationship, but so far he'd been content to just be there for Miles. He'd asked Miles out weeks ago and when Miles had turned him down he'd explained that he had feelings for someone else. Eugene had immediately figured it out, and he'd been surprisingly understanding, though he made no bones about the fact that he thought Alex was a prick. 

After Alexa had announced their dinner plans Miles pulled Eugene aside. They were stopped at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere while the bus driver took a short break. Miles took advantage of the fact and quickly pulled Eugene outside where they could have a little privacy.

“You don't have to do this you know,” he said quietly. Eugene shrugged.

“I don't mind,” he said with a gentle smile. “Besides if I don't go you'll be alone with just the two of them. I wouldn't abandon you like that.”

Miles sighed, slumping down against the side of the bus. The cold air was biting, but Miles just felt numb. 

“You okay?” Eugene asked, concern written on his face. Miles remained silent. Alexa being on the bus with them felt like a slap in the face; but even worse then that was the fact that Alex had neglected to even do him the courtesy of informing him of the fact that she would be joining them. He knew Alex felt bad, but he still hadn't even apologized for the lack of communication. And he probably never would, knowing Alex.

Eugene moved closer and put his arm around Miles. Miles shut his eyes, forcing himself not to cry. He was dreading have to sit through dinner with Alexa and Alex, seeing them be a happy couple right in front of him. At least back in England he could beg out of situations where he'd have to see them, or deal with them in a larger crowd. Dinner with just the four of them was going to be a nightmare. 

~~

By five they had made it to the hotel they'd be staying at overnight. Due to the arrival of Alexa there had been some rearranging of rooms that had to be accomplished. Miles and Alex had originally been sharing a double, but Miles quickly offered to get his own room now that Alexa was there. He didn't think he could stand sharing a room with the couple. Eugene cheerfully volunteered to share his room, which also happened to be a double, and Miles gratefully accepted his offer. Alexa looked thrilled at the prospect of having a room with Alex to herself, but Alex glared at Eugene when the change was announced.

The plan was for them to meet in the hotel lobby at seven for their dinner reservation. Miles was glad he'd thought to bring a couple of his nicer suits with him when Alexa announced their dinner reservation. As he put on his perfectly tailored suit layer by layer Miles couldn't help but wish that it wasn't just a suit he was donning, but protective armour instead. 

Nervously straightening his collar for the millionth time, Miles turned when he heard the door open behind him and Eugene stepped into the room. He couldn't help but stare when he saw the other man. So far on tour Miles had only ever seen Eugene wearing skinny jeans, a black tee-shirt and a black hoodie; fairly standard apparel for a guitar tech. But tonight Eugene had dressed up in a crisp black suit; his short hair slicked back slightly so that it lay flat on top of his skull. 

Eugene tugged on his sleeve when he saw Miles looking at him, suddenly bashful. “Do I look alright?” he questioned. Miles couldn't help but smile at the slight hint of nerves in the other man's voice.

“You look fantastic! Who knew you'd clean up so well!” 

Eugene scoffed and stepped in line with the mirror to double check his appearance. “Glad I decided to bring this old thing with me, though I didn't think I'd ever end up wearing it.”

Miles glanced at his watch and was dismayed to find that it was time to meet Alex and Alexa down in the lobby. 

“Its time,” he announced mournfully. He turned to head towards the door but Eugene quickly stopped him.

“You don't have to do this, you know. You don't owe them anything, and you already know she's not going to be pleasant to you.”

Miles looked at Eugene. He wished he could fall for the other man, things would be so much simpler if he did. But he couldn't; not yet. And though it would be so much easier to give in to Eugene's persistence, he knew he couldn't do that to the other man. He couldn't use someone like that.

“Alex is my best mate,” he said simply, hoping Eugene would understand everything Miles couldn't bring himself to say. After a slight pause Eugene sighed.

“Yeah.” He made to walk out the door but this time it was Miles who stopped him. 

“You know she thinks we're together. Or we will be. She probably won't be very nice to you either,” Miles began, trying once more to give his friend a chance to back out of the situation. But Eugene was having none of it.

“Miles. I know what I'm getting into. Trust me. I can handle it.”

Turning, Eugene quickly walked out the door, holding it open slightly so that Miles could follow. Miles steeled himself and walked through the open door.

~~

From the very beginning the dinner was a complete disaster. When Alexa pointedly asked how Miles and Eugene had met, Eugene related the story with a grin. Eugene's version, though mostly accurate, made Alex come off as a right wanker though, and so Alex was immediately pissed. He listened the story in stony silence, made even worse when Alexa laughingly asked him if he really had thrown his guitar at Eugene.

Alex just mumbled something incoherent and refused to repeat his answer.

From there Alexa started quizzing Eugene on what he did for a living. Although he still answered her questions politely, Miles could tell that Eugene was quickly losing his patience. When Alexa found out that Eugene had been in a band of his own but was kicked out she immediately zeroed in on that aspect of it. 

“You were kicked out of the band?” she questioned mockingly. Alex's mouth thinned but he made no move to stop the line of questioning, though Miles could sense that even he was slightly embarrassed by the scene Alexa was creating.

Eugene grinned but Miles could tell it was forced. “Well sort of. I was only a temporary fill in, really. And there was no need for two bassists in one band.”

Alexa laughed, but it was mean spirited. “Maybe you should have done what Miles did, and take over the band instead. Kick the other bassist out.” 

Miles blanched and even Alex looked surprised at the biting words. It was true that Miles had started out as the background vocalist for the Little Flames, but he'd taken over lead vocals when the original band broke up. Few people really knew what had happened to cause the dissolution of the original lineup, but speculation had run rampant in the press for a few months. That Alexa would choose to even allude to those rumors was a low blow. 

Eugene opened his mouth to respond, furious on Miles's behalf, but the waiter chose that moment to bring over their first course. Alex leaned over and started whispering something in Alexa's ear, so Eugene took advantage of the moment and started talking to Miles in a low voice.

“Alright?” he questioned, placing a comforting hand over Miles's where it was resting on the table. Still slightly reeling from Alexa's subtle accusation, Miles nodded but remained silent, resolutely looking anywhere but across the table to where Alex was sitting. Miles wondered what Alex had said revealed to Alexa about the band's breakup. Alex of course, knew everything, and he knew how unhappy that whole situation had made Miles. How Miles had become depressed after the band fell apart so spectacularly, and how he blamed himself. Miles wondered how much of those personal details Alex had shared with Alexa and all of a sudden he felt sick to his stomach.

Standing up from the table abruptly, Miles quickly got to his feet. Ducking his eyes to avoid the three pairs of eyes all trained on him expectantly, he waved them off. “Just have to run to the loo,” he lied. Eugene made as if to get up and follow him but Miles gestured for him to sit down, which he did reluctantly. 

Miles found himself fighting to keep his balance as he strode off towards the loo and he felt slightly drunk despite not having a drop of alcohol that night. 

In the loo he leaned heavily against the sink, turning the tap and letting it run for a minute while he silently observed his reflection in the mirror. 

His face was off color still, though that could be partly explained by the cold he seemed to have picked up in the last few days. Cupping his hands beneath the tap he gathered up enough water to splash onto his face. The coolness of the water was soothing on his hot face. Absently he wondered if he was beginning to have a fever. 

Miles knew he couldn't stall forever, so he quickly washed his hands before heading back to the table.

Even before he was close enough to overhear what was being said Miles could sense that something was wrong. Alex had his arm out as if he was trying to push Alexa back from where she was leaning forward over the table, and Eugene looked like he was ready to jump out of his seat and spring into motion at the slightest provocation. Miles could hear raised voices from halfway across the room and from the looks their table was getting it was clear that Alexa was starting to make a scene over something.

Assuming Alexa was attacking his innocent friend, Miles started walking faster in order to break up the confrontation but he froze when he heard his name.

“...why don't you and Miles go form a band and stop dragging Alex down then? You two are already shagging aren't you? Why don't you go off and form your own gay band somewhere else and be fags there!”

Miles froze. Eugene started arguing back with Alexa, though at a much quieter volume so Miles couldn't make out what he was saying. His attention, though, was focused on Alex. Alex who made no move to correct Alexa on any of her horrendously inappropriate statements. Miles felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut. This complete betrayal was so much worse then just being in love with his already committed bandmate. This was him being in love with a wanker who let people slander his best mate. Miles knew that Alex wasn't homophobic since he was bisexual himself, but the fact that he let Alexa make homophobic remarks without blinking was a startling wakeup call. At that moment Miles felt like he truly knew nothing at all about his bandmate.

Eugene got to his feet abruptly and turned around to leave when he spotted Miles.

“Miles...” he said, shocked, knowing that Miles must have heard at least some of the conversation.

Alexa looked at Miles, smirking victoriously, and leaned back in her seat. 

Alex dropped his arm and his eyes widened in shock as he saw Miles standing within hearing distance of the table. He made as if to stand up, but Miles didn't stick around to see what happened next.

He ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at updating. I know. Sorry.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex scowled at the sound of the voice on the other end of the phone.
> 
> “Eugene?” he questioned. “Wot the fuck are you doing with Miles's phone?”

Catching sight of Miles's hurt expression from across the room, Alex swore for a second he stopped breathing. He knew he should have stopped Alexa from saying those horrible things to Nick, but he'd found himself shocked into inaction. Alexa knew he was bisexual and she'd never had a problem with that before. He knew that she was jealous of his friendship with Miles because she had admitted it, but he was shocked by the amount of manipulation she had shown tonight. It was all a big set up to get Miles and Nick here and then humiliate them. He hadn't tried to shush her while Miles in the bathroom, figuring that it was a blessing Miles wouldn't have to hear the venom she was spitting out. A small part of him also hoped that maybe saying all the horrible things to Nick would help get it out her system.

But then Nick had stood to leave, revealing a broken looking Miles standing close enough to their table to have overheard the entire conversation. Alex wasn't sure how long Miles had been standing there, but if he'd overheard even a sentence or two he was sure to be devastated.

When Miles turned and ran Alex knew he fucked up badly. Perhaps irreparably.

A string of curses ran through his head as he leapt to his feet, planning on running after Miles before he got too far. Before he could follow Eugene in pursuit of Miles, he was yanked violently by his arm, causing him to stumble back into his chair.

“What the fuck Alexa!” he shouted, finally giving in to his emotions turning to look at his girlfriend. Alexa's eyes widened slightly but she managed to keep her cool despite the glare Alex leveled at her.

“Sit down,” she demanded imperiously. For a split second, Alex considered listening to her. But even as he paused for that moment he hated himself for being weak.

If he left right now he knew it would be the end of him and Alexa.

He knew with even greater certainty that if he stayed he would lose Miles. Even if he went after Miles now there was no guaranteeing that Miles would even forgive him. But Alex had to try. In the end it wasn't even a hard decision on whether to stay or go.

Roughly shaking off Alexa's hand, Alex once more got to his feet, this time much more deliberately. As if she suddenly noticed that the rest of the restaurant was unabashedly staring at them now, Alexa flushed an ugly shade of red.

“SIT. DOWN.” she hissed at him, trying her best to keep her voice low. Alex just shook his head and walked off. He didn't even bother saying anything to Alexa. Maybe he needed to tell her it was over but it was the last thing on his mind. All that mattered was finding Miles before he did something stupid. Only then could Alex start to try and apologize for what he'd done.

At first Alex tried to look unconcerned walking away from the table, putting on a slight swagger as he walked. He quickly realized that it was too late; too many people had seen the altercation and it was sure to hit the press one way or the other. So he gave up and started running for the door.

Bursting out through the double doors, Alex shivered violently when the cold air hit him like a well deserved slap to the face. It was only then that Alex realized that he had no idea where on earth Miles could have run off to.

Desperately wracking his brain to try and think where Miles might be, the reality of the situation hit Alex fully for the first time. He staggered over to the alley next to the hotel and braced himself against the wall. Stomach churning unpleasantly, Alex threw up what little food he had eaten during dinner.

The bile burned his throat, but so did the sense of shame. Alex didn't even want to think about what was going through Miles's mind with the weight of Alexa's accusations already in his head. Alex's silence and lack of defense must have been even further condemnation to Miles.

Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand Alex straightened up and walked swiftly down the street. It didn't matter where he looked, he needed to be doing something to keep himself busy.

As Alex walked he quickly dug out his mobile and dialed Miles's number. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. Alex impatiently hit redial, but this time it went straight to voicemail. Miles must have shut it off in order to avoid Alex. Alex couldn't say he was surprised, but that made him all the more worried.

Alex wasn't sure how long he wandered the quiet streets looking for his friend. He didn't notice when his hands went numb, only that his fingers fumbled to dial the numbers on his phone. He kept dialling Miles's number on repeat; hoping against hope that he would turn his mobile back on.

As the night wore on and Alex found no sign of his bandmate Alex began to become frantic. Alex remembered that Miles had rushed out of the restaurant without grabbing his coat and he was worried that Miles's cold might get worse.

Checking the time on his mobile Alex was startled to see he had less than ten percent battery left. He looked up only to realize that he had no idea where he was. He could see a park on his left, so he jogged towards it, trying to find a recognizable landmark.

The ringing of his mobile started Alex so much that he dropped it in shock. It rang twice more before Alex was able to locate it from where it had landed several feet away on the ground. 

A sense of relief washed over him as he saw the name Miles flashing at him from the home screen.

“Miles, love, please let me explain,” he started to babble, not sure even as he was speaking what to say. He was interrupted by a sober voice that was most decidedly not Miles.

“Turner?”

Alex scowled at the sound of the voice on the other end of the phone.

“Eugene?” he questioned. “Wot the fuck are you doing with Miles's phone?”

There was a slight pause. Alex could hear muffled talking in the background but there was an odd echoing sound as well. Alex frowned, trying to place the sound.

“...there's been an accident,” Eugene said wearily. “Can you get to the hospital?”

And so for the second time that night Alex felt the world fall out from under his feet.

~~

Alex wasn't sure how he managed to flag down a passing cab. He could have sworn that there was no one else in the world, but the next thing he knew he was sitting in the back of a cab begging the driver to go as fast as he could. The faster the car sped down the streets the faster Alex felt his heart beating. He felt like he was going to be sick and had to focus on keeping the bile down.

Arriving at the hospital Alex hurriedly shoved a bundle of bills at the cab driver, not even bother to count it out. He ran in through the sliding doors and nearly collided with Eugene.

Euguene looked like shit. His clean suit was wrinkled, jacket off and white shirt sleeves rolled up sloppily. His hair looked like he'd been repeatedly running his hands through it in distress. There was blood on his shirt, Alex noticed. He couldn’t help but stare at the blood spatters, which stood out on the previously white shirt.

A hand waved in front of his face caused Alex to flinch.

“Where's Miles?” he demanded, cutting off any useless information Eugene was trying to impart. What happened didn't matter nearly as much as making sure that his mate was alive.

Wordlessly Eugene turned around and lead Alex down one of the adjoining corridors. Alex struggled to keep up, feeling like he was trying to walk through molasses. His limbs felt weighted and heavy with dread.  
  
Stopping in front of one of the nondescript doors, Eugene blocked Alex's entrance to the door with a determined look.

“I wasn't sure if I should call you,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Why did you then?” Alex asked tiredly. “I wouldn't if I were you.”

“He asked me to. He's upset, rightfully so. But I think he needs to see you. You need to work this out. And I think that if you're honest with yourself you need him just as much as he needs you.”

Alex didn't respond, but took advantage of the pause to push past Eugene to enter the examining room. 

Miles was stretched out on a cheap hospital bed. The whiteness of the room only served to emphasize how pale he was. He was dressed in a hideously unflattering white hospital gown and he was sitting with his back propped up against some pillows. Though his eyes were closed he was clearly still conscious. One hand was holding a piece of gauze to a point just above his left eye brow. His other hand was cradled in his lap. Alex realized with a growing sense of horror that his wrist was wrapped in a brace.

Pushing aside any thoughts of what that might mean for the band, Alex stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. Miles opened his eyes at the sound and Alex stood still, not entirely sure if he was really welcome despite Eugene's phone call earlier.

Several emotions flitted across Miles's face before his face lit up with a grin.

“Al!” he exclaimed happily. Alex blinked, taken aback.

“Mi, what happened love?” he questioned.

Miles just grinned. “Got into a bit of a bar fight,” he said proudly. “You should see the other guy.”

Alex felt anger rising in him but it was purely directed at himself, not Miles. Before he had a chance to respond there was a quick knock and then another man entered.

“Gentlemen,” he greeted them, before introducing himself as Miles’s doctor. Miles grinned at the man absently, making Alex question what exactly they were giving him for pain medication.

After Alex explained that he was Miles's band mate the doctor gave him the run down, with Miles's consent. The damage included a slight concussion, six stitches on his forehead, and a sprained wrist.

Alex had a billion questions, including what the prognosis on Miles's wrist were, but he decided to wait until he could talk to the doctor alone. Once Miles was off his pain meds and was sober once more he was going to be devastated when he learned that he couldn't play guitar for the foreseeable future. It was going to jeopardize the rest of the tour, and Alex knew he needed to inform their tour manager straight away.

When the nurse came to give Miles his stitches Alex tried to slip out to make the phone call but Miles stopped him.

“Will you, hold my hand?” he asked tentatively. Alex looked at him, surprised. “I'm not a big fan of needles,” he explained sheepishly. The nurse nodded her consent, so Alex walked over to the other side of the bed. Miles held his right hand out and Alex grasped it firmly, careful not to jostle the brace. Miles kept his gaze firmly on Alex the entire time and Alex found himself unnerved by the intense gaze, even diluted as it was from the pain.

The nurse gathered her stuff up and left, after informing them that Miles needed to stay in the hospital overnight for observation. She added that Alex was welcome to stay the night, but he'd have to make due with a plastic chair.

Miles didn't ask for Alex to stay, but he could see the question in his eyes, so he pulled up the dull grey chair and put it as close to Miles's head as he could. Alex started rambling about anything he could think of; songs that he was working on, random tour stories from the early days of his first band. Before longs Miles's breathing evened out and Alex stopped talking.

Reaching out to grab Miles's unencumbered hand from where it lay on top of the covers, Alex clenched it possessively. Miles was okay. Things weren't fine between them, not by a long shot, but at least Alex had found him.

The excitement from the day caught up with Alex all at once and he fell asleep, still holding Miles's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been nearly a year since I updated?


	14. Chapter 14

Pain.

It was constant and ever present. Miles didn't think there was a single inch of him that didn't hurt. It felt like he'd been run over by a bus. Even with the haze of the pain medication still in his system, though, Miles was well aware that most of the pain was emotional.

When he woke up for the first time in the hospital room he was severely disorientated. The beeping of the heart monitors picked up as Miles looked around frantically, trying to remember what had happened. 

A slight tugging on his hand made him notice for the first time that Alex was sitting, or rather slumped over, in the chair next to his bed with his hand intertwined with Miles's. Unlike the last time Miles had seen Alex asleep, this time he look troubled, and he was twitching slightly from time to time. Miles wondered what his friend was dreaming of to make him so upset.

It didn't take long for the memories of the night before to come back, leaving Miles once more reeling. He wished he could erase the memory of standing in the restaurant and watching Alex be silent as Alexa made hurtful homophobic comments about him and Eugene. But the memory was seared into his brain.

Slowly so as not to wake Alex, Miles gently untangled his hand from Alex's. His hand instantly felt colder, but Miles felt slightly better breaking the contact. When Alex finally stirred and started to regain consciousness, Miles quickly shut his eyes. He wasn't ready to deal with Alex yet. 

Miles could hear the plastic chair squeak as Alex sat up and stretched. There was silence for a minute and the sound of footsteps towards the door. It was only when the door shut behind him that Miles dared to open his eyes again.

Lying in the bed, uncomfortable and hurting, Miles stared blankly up at the ceiling. He flinched when the door opened but sighed when he saw that it was just Eugene.

“Hey,” Eugene greeted softly. 

“Hey,” Miles responded flatly. Eugene walked over and quickly took over the seat that Alex had just vacated.

“Should I ask how you're doing?” Eugene questioned gently. Miles shook his head, staring determinedly up at the ceiling when he felt the tears threaten.

“Why's Al here?” Miles questioned after he composed himself a little.

“You asked for him,” Eugene said, looking down at the floor awkwardly. “Don't you remember?”

Thinking back to what had happened after he'd left the restaurant, Miles had to laugh at the absolute mess of the situation. He'd sprained his wrist and jeopardized the rest of the tour because of a stupid bar fight that he'd only provoked because he'd just had his heart broken by his best mate and bandmate.

He was fucked.

And to make things worse, the second he'd gotten to the hospital he'd begged and pleaded for Eugene to call Alex. Most of that Miles blamed on the pain killers - they'd given him a stronger dose then they meant to and within minutes he was flying higher than a kite. Nothing had seemed to matter anymore. Miles remembered wearing Eugene down until finally he'd agreed to call Alex, though he did warn Miles that he was going to regret it. 

“I regret it,” Miles admitted wretchedly. Whereas before he had desperately wanted Alex by his side, right now the very thought of having to talk to Alex was sending him into a panic attack. The door started to slide open and Miles started to cry for good. “I can't see him right now,” he blurted out.

Eugene was quick on the uptake and quickly crowded Alex out of the room, but not before Miles got a glimpse of Alex's complexion. Alex looked like shit but Miles supposed that was to be expected; he had spent the night sleeping in a hospital chair. Miles fancied he saw regret in Alex's eyes as he was forcefully maneuvered out of the room, but he couldn't be sure. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. 

The whispered conversation in the corridor was much shorter then Miles had been expected. Try as he might he could hear nothing that went on outside of the small room, so he took advantage of Eugene's absence to try and compose himself a little.

When Eugene finally did step back in he was rubbing his face absently.

“Your friend has a mean right hook,” he said ruefully. Miles glared.

“He hit you?” he demanded. “If anyone should be hit it would be that wanker!”

Eugene laughed, and once more sat down in the chair next to Miles's bed. 

“Oh believe me, I gave as good as I got. But I think I might have deserved his hit.” Miles looked at him questioningly so he continued. “I let you get hurt, in more ways than one. I said I was going to look after you last night, but I wasn't able to. I'm sorry.” 

Miles smiled sadly. “No, I'm sorry. I never should have dragged you to that dinner. I know you agreed to it willing,” he said when he saw that Eugene was going to interrupt, “but I knew it was going to end badly. I just wanted to pretend everything was fine; that there was no reason I couldn't go out to eat with Alex and his girlfriend. But I couldn't even do that.”

“Whoa. You can't honestly think that that disaster of a dinner was your fault!” Eugene said incredulously.

“No, but I never should have gone in the first place,” Miles said with certainty.

~~

Eugene had gone to get some coffee and to stretch his legs when Miles's doctor came back into the room, clip board in hand.

“Ah, Mr. Kane. Good to see you awake. How do you feel?”

Miles tried to focus on his physical pain for a minute. “Well my head is killing me. And my wrist is bloody sore as well. How bad is it?”

The doctor frowned. “It wasn't too badly sprained but we want you to keep it in the brace for at least two weeks.”

Although he'd been expecting it, the news still came as a blow to Miles.

“And after that you'll need to do some physical therapy on it to get it back to normal. I understand you play guitar?” Miles nodded mutely. “We'd recommend you don't play for at least a month. You injured some of the muscles in your wrist and if you start playing again before those muscles heal fully you could do yourself some permanent damage.” 

Miles nodded quietly and listened as the doctor went on to explain that he'd be released as soon as he filled out some paper work. A nurse came in and took out out his IV so that he could be discharged . She warned him that the pain medication that they had given him would begin to wear off in under an hour. She gave him a prescription for Vicodin for his wrist, and gave him directions to the nearest pharmacy. 

Left alone Miles mechanically started getting dressed back in his own clothes. Instead of pain he was starting to feel numb. Apathetic. It was as if he just couldn't summon up the energy to be upset any more. 

Miles left the room and made his way to the receptionist desk where he methodically filled out all the proper information. He didn't understand half of what he was being asked to fill out so he just guessed on a lot of it and hoped for the best. He was just about done filling them out when Eugene found him.

“Fucking hell, Miles. I thought you'd run away or something,” he said, slightly out of breath. 

“Sorry,” he said, handing the paper work back to the receptionist with a forced smile. “Ready to go?” he asked, not waiting for an answer. Eugene caught up with him as he was walked through the sliding doors.

“So what did the doctor say?” Eugene questioned as they started walking back towards the hotel. 

“What? Oh, it’s not great news,” Miles said dismissively. “We'll have to have a meeting and discuss our options. Can you call and set it up? Al should probably be there,” he said as an afterthought. He thought he could face Alex in a professional setting at least. 

Miles wrapped his coat tighter around him as he walked. The next few hours were going to be hell but he only had himself to blame for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?


End file.
